What I see that's really spoken about in sort of the monogamous framework is they tell people to rely on the structure itself for their security.

And then what I see is that doesn't really work and it doesn't actually really work in monogamy either.

Right.

But and so one of my emphasis is that you know don't depend on the structure you might still have

certain structures but don't depend on that for secure attachment in your

relationship depend on the relational experience that you have. How are you treating each other? How are you

showing up with each other? That's what matters.

Welcome to the Multiamery Podcast. I'm Jace. I'm Emily. And I'm Dedicher. We believe in looking to the future of

relationships, not maintaining the status quo of the past. So whether you're monogamous,

polyamorous, swinging, casually dating, or if you just do relationships

differently, we see you and we're here for you.

On this episode, the most I know I did.

On this episode of the Multiamery podcast,

we're speaking with Jessica Fern,

a psychotherapist, public speaker,

and trauma and relationship expert, and she is the author of the upcoming book

Poly Secure attachment trauma and consensual non-monogony. Today we're going to be talking

about attachment theory one of our favorite things, but we're

specifically going to be talking about how our attachment style can intersect with trauma and

what this means for non-monogamous relationships and strategies for moving toward more secure attachments.

So Jessica, thank you so much for joining us today.

Yes, thank you for having me.

...