29: If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?
God Awful Movies
Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC
4.8 • 2.7K Ratings
🗓️ 8 March 2016
⏱️ 83 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this week's episode, Eli unearths the single craziest piece of batshittery in the history of film. If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? is a gratutiously titled red-scare propaganda piece that mixes Christian persecution fetish, cold war paranoia, and baffling inconsistent accents to create the most bizarre cinematic experience we've yet endured.---
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Also, I want to point out there's a lot of panning shots of women who are covered in blood with their legs ever so slightly spread. |
| 0:12.0 | Yes. |
| 0:13.0 | It was the intention of this movie for me to jerk off to it, |
| 0:17.0 | but I did. |
| 0:19.0 | A lot. God awful movies. movies. Welcome back to the gamcast where each week we sample another selection from |
| 0:53.8 | Christian cinema because nothing else will quiet the screaming lambs. |
| 0:57.2 | I'm your host no illusions and sitting to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and |
| 1:01.0 | right Heath welcome back. Thank you sir welcome back to you from vacation yes just got back from |
| 1:06.4 | Colorado where the laws are awesome and sitting nine hundred eighty nine miles to my |
| 1:11.3 | right is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli how go things with you sir |
| 1:15.6 | You're not gonna leave again right you promised that was just once every 40 years |
| 1:19.2 | That's you know |
| 1:20.7 | You're gonna do that anymore My current vacation schedule, yes, yes, exactly. |
| 1:25.0 | Someone asked me what agnosticism means and I just shot. |
| 1:28.0 | I didn't know. |
| 1:29.0 | I don't actually know. |
| 1:30.0 | That's what you said to do, right? |
| 1:32.0 | Yes, I said to do. That's the note said to do, right? That's what you said to do. |
| 1:34.0 | That's the note I left on the fridge. |
| 1:36.0 | So, tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? |
| 1:40.0 | All right, we watched if footmen tire you, what will horses do? |
| 1:48.0 | Which is an anti-communist Christian propaganda film from 1971. |
... |
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