In this episode, you're going to learn about how to use self-compassion as a powerful source of

growth and change. And most of the ideas in this video come from Kristen Neff. She has a wonderful

website, self-compassion.org, with lots of exercises teaching you how to be more compassionate to

yourself. And when I talk about self-compassion, I'm not talking about, oh, just excuse yourself for your bad behaviors.

I'm saying, no, love yourself as you are, and that can be the greatest source of creating change.

So let's talk about how to use self-compassion to create change in yourself.

When you see something in yourself that you don't like, how do you treat yourself?

Do you try to get rid of your faults by punishing yourself or criticizing yourself?

I mean, for example, do you call yourself lazy or fat because you think that criticizing yourself

will help you change?

Or when you mess up, do you say, oh, I'm such an idiot?

I'm so stupid. What's the matter with me?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said,

darkness cannot drive out. Darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out.

Hate, only love can do that. So if you do this, if you try to criticize yourself into change,

you're trying to get rid of negativity with negativity. Jessica Ortoner said, you can't hate

yourself happy. You can't criticize yourself happy, you can't criticize yourself thin,

you can't shame yourself wealthy. Real change begins with self-love and self-care. Fear and

self-punishment may inspire a short burst of energy, but it's never a lasting form of motivation.

So first, take a moment and reflect on the pain that you cause yourself by treating yourself this way.

Can you have compassion on yourself for how it hurts to be treated so harshly?

To break this cycle, we need to really look at our values and decide how to live those values

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