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I found a ruler on the sink in my son's bathroom.

15 seconds after I found the ruler,

I knocked on his bedroom door

because that is how long it had taken me to stop laughing.

I actually knocked with the ruler.

I was like, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

And he goes, yeah.

And I go, hey man, found the ruler in the bathroom.

And he goes, what about?

And then, no! That's what he did.

He was so embarrassed. He started two sentences, bailed on both of them, and then fell off a cliff.

So I go, what was going on in the bathroom with the ruler? 30 seconds passes. I don't hear anything

from this kid. I don't know if he's barricaded the door, Googling what happens when your dad finds your ruler? He's hiding all the other rulers in his

bedroom. 30 seconds passes and he finally goes, I was doing math while I was pooping. Super

aggressively. Like it was my fault. I happened upon this ruler in my home.

It's dude Mathelaw's pooping, so I said, was the answer four, five, or six?

That's pretty good, right? I mean, for a comedian it's like a B-B-minus, but for a dad it's real hilarious.

You're crazy, man.

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