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Financial Feminist

286. Getting Rich Made Me a Bad Woman

Financial Feminist

Her First $100K

How To, Education, Business, Self-improvement

4.76.6K Ratings

🗓️ 2 June 2026

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if the reason you're afraid of building wealth has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with a system designed to keep you that way? In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something most people won't say out loud: the reason so many women are afraid to build wealth isn't a personal failing, it's by design. From the fears holding us back before we even start, to every way my own financial success made me a "bad woman" by the patriarchy's standards, this episode is giving you permission to stop apologizing for wanting more. Because every dollar you earn, save, and invest? It's a vote against a system that never wanted you to have it. Visit https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod to find any resources mentioned on our show! Listen to Erin Gallagher episode on being an uncontrollable woman: ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/inner-mean-girl/⁠  00:00 Intro: Why Women Fear Wealth 01:57 FOG: Fear, Obligation & Guilt Explained 04:50 Money Avoidance & the Ostrich Effect 05:25 The Key Reframe: You're Not Bad With Money 06:00 The "Good Woman" Checklist 06:38 Female Financial Dependence Is by Design 08:45 The Data: Wage Gap, Wealth Gap & Unpaid Labor 09:34 You Still Have to Play the Game 13:05 Tori's Personal Story: Building Wealth Fast 13:48 "Money Doesn't Change You — It Shows You Who You Are" 16:31 Wealth as an Amplifier, Not a Transformer 17:25 Staying Broke Doesn't Make You Virtuous 20:45 How Becoming Rich Made Me a Bad Woman 28:35 I Became Dangerous to Anyone Who Benefited From My Smallness 29:27 The Double Standard: Wealthy Man vs. Wealthy Woman Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Society has a rulebook for what makes a good woman. And you guessed it. How we should talk about, make, and spend money is most of it. But before we get there, we need to ask him even more uncomfortable question. Why are women afraid of building wealth in the first place? If you're new here, my name is Tori. I'm a multimillionaire, money expert, and I've helped over five million women be better with money. And I am the poster child for the unabashed pursuit of wealth.

0:23.3

But it hasn't made me the most popular.

0:25.8

Today we're talking about why women are afraid of money,

0:29.6

why pursuing wealth actually made me a bad woman,

0:33.7

and how we can say fuck it anyway.

0:39.1

But first, a word from our sponsors.

0:41.8

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

0:44.5

Squarespace has sponsored us for five years.

0:47.5

So if they've been sponsoring us for this long,

0:49.5

you know that we use and love them.

0:51.3

Squarespace helps you offer services to get paid all in one place, and they

0:54.6

have cutting-edge design tools so that you can build a bespoke website that perfectly fits your

0:59.5

brand or business. You can also buy a domain on Squarespace. They're a fantastic source of beautiful

1:05.0

websites. And whether it's a portfolio or your side hustle or your fully fledged seven-figure

1:10.6

business,

1:11.5

Squarespace has the tools you need to grow and expand. We've loved Squarespace, and we're

1:15.7

the first investment we ever made in our business. And if you need a website, you need Squarespace.

1:20.8

Head on over to Squarespace.com slash FFPod for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch,

1:25.7

use FFPod to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

1:32.3

Attention all passengers. The Uber ride for Mark and Jamal's romantic weekend will depart in four minutes from Platform 6.

1:40.4

Your ride comes with a rolling countryside sunset view and a table seat ideal for playing

1:46.4

footsie beneath. Thank you for booking your tickets on Uber. Trains on Uber. So before we get into any of that, we have to talk about the before.

...

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