285: Sex Addiction, Shame and Betrayal with Duane Osterlind

Soberful

Veronica Valli & Chip Somers

Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 611 Ratings

🗓️ 25 September 2024

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Duane Osterlind is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specialises in helping people overcome sex addiction. He explains that sex addiction is a way to get connection and intimacy but remains unfulfilling and compulsive. Duane explains that it's essential to understand how shame factors into sex addiction and that dealing with shame is crucial to recovery. He also talks about how it affects partners and the trauma of betrayal. But that a marriage can survive, and someone can recover from sex addiction.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I dreamt that you were twisting through seven suns of gold and the gypsy was insisting
0:10.2	that story must be told I came two in the morning but I took it as a warning that you might be a treasure.
0:22.4	I could touch but never hold.
0:27.8	Hello, everybody, and you are listening to the Sober Four podcast.
0:31.5	I am your host, Veronica Valley, and I am joined today by, oh, I should have asked you how to pronounce
0:36.3	your last name, Dwayne Osterl. You got it completely right. That is awesome. Is that like Norwegian or? Swedish. Swedish. Yeah. I thought it's going to Canadian. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Well, welcome to the show, Dwayne. I had the honor of being on Dwayne's podcast a few months back.
0:55.0	What's your podcast called?
0:56.0	The Addicted Mind.
0:57.1	The Addicted Mind.
0:58.0	That's right.
0:59.1	Dwayne is a licensed, okay, licensed marriage and family therapist.
1:05.0	Yes.
1:06.8	And when I was on his podcast and we were chatting, and one of the things that Dwayne specializes in is sex addiction.
1:16.2	Yeah.
1:16.5	And I was like, ooh, I think we've talked about that, but I don't think we've had someone on talking about that.
1:24.3	So we're going to talk today about sex addiction, shame, and betrayal. Yeah.
1:31.2	This is a really fascinating subject. Let's start with what is sex addiction? That's a great question.
1:40.2	You know, one of the things that I see a lot in, in the addiction field, I've worked in the addiction field a long time.
1:46.7	And one of the reasons I got involved in sex addiction work is I would be working with a lot of people who had gotten sober from substances, had gotten free of alcohol and everything.
2:00.2	But when we would kind of start to do the deeper work, they would start to say, I got this
2:05.7	other problem I need to talk to you about.
2:08.1	And it was sex.
	...

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