283: Relationships, Boundaries, And The Stories We Make Up

Shameless Leadership

Sara Dean

Education, Management, How To, Business, Self-improvement

4.7 • 800 Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2018

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It was pointed out to me a few weeks ago that I might be the kind of person who makes up BIG stories in my head that are often UNTRUE. This happens when I think someone might be mad at me or when I think I’ve been wronged or when anything feels unjust in my world. I’m quick to make assumptions, jump to conclusions, and sometimes downright freak the heck out. And it’s often all for nothing. The story I created in my head was just that – a story – with no basis in reality. Can anyone else relate? So, the reason this happens is a thinking process called the Ladder of Inference. This is where we take in an experience or some sort of data and then filter it, determine it it’s a threat or a benefit to us, make assumptions, jump to conclusions, form beliefs and take action based on these beliefs. I’m really good at climbing that damn Ladder of Inference super fast, which can totally mess up my head and sometimes my interactions with others. I know I’m not alone here. Listen in to hear how you might be climbing this ladder with me and how it’s potentially damaging your relationships and maybe even your upcoming holidays. Thank you to our sponsors: Lola: Get 100% organic tampons delivered right to your door for 40% off. Go to Lola and use the code SHAMELESS40 at checkout. Rothy’s: To get free shipping on any order of Rothy’s shoes, as well as free returns, go to Rothy’s and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is the Shameless Mom Academy, episode 283.
0:04.0	Show notes for this episode, including any links mentioned in the episode, as well as any
0:07.8	discount codes to our sponsors, can be found by going to shamelessmom.com and clicking on episode
0:12.6	283.
0:18.1	Welcome to the Shameless Mom Academy.
0:20.3	I'm your host, Sarah Dean. I'm here to give you and other
0:23.7	passionate, driven, unapologetic moms, tools, resources, and a little bit of humor to help you lead
0:29.8	more positive, powerful, and purposeful lives every damn day. One of the best things about the
0:35.2	Shameless Mom Academy is our community. So be sure to join us in our free
0:38.7	private Facebook group to connect with other shameless moms just like you. You can find us over
0:43.8	at shamelessom.com forward slash Facebook. All right, let's dive into today's episode.
0:59.5	Hey, Mamas. Before we get started, I just want to have a little real talk with you.
1:05.0	So let's be honest. Motherhood can be soul-sucking and soul-crushing work.
1:10.2	Now, that's not to say there aren't moments of magic, but wow, it's pretty easy to lose your sense of identity when you're wrapped up
1:11.7	in raising humans, right? And if I'm being honest, motherhood aged me probably about 10 years in the
1:18.4	first two months of Minnie's life. Now, it took me two years to get pregnant and nine rounds of
1:23.6	fertility support. So I really felt like I had to be grateful for every moment that happened
1:28.3	once he was born. And that didn't happen. I actually thought I would be living in the land
1:34.7	of rainbows and unicorns. And to my utter shock and horror, after that baby showed up, there was
1:39.1	not a damn rainbow or unicorn in sight for quite a while. So Vinnie is six now, and I can honestly say there are
1:46.4	rainbows and unicorns every damn day. But this did not happen by itself. It took me implementing
1:52.4	the tools that I have used to coach women for the last 16 years to build a post motherhood life
	...

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