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Gender: A Wider Lens

28 - Behind the Curtain: Wrapping Up Gender Exploratory Therapy

Gender: A Wider Lens

Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.6961 Ratings

🗓️ 18 June 2021

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

As they wrap up their initial Behind the Curtain series , Sasha and Stella discuss important issues surrounding the termination of therapy. How do we know when the therapeutic process should end? Does a resolution of gender dysphoria mean it’s time to end the therapeutic relationship? Does the start of a medical transition indicate a good time to end? And how can therapists leave the door open for a client who may want to return at a later date?

Extended Notes

  • ● When a long-term client leaves. It can be a bittersweet moment.
  • ● If the therapy process is working well, the client should be proactive in how they’re building new connections.
  • ● Therapy is a lot like riding a bike. You are a little wobbling and then, next thing you know, your training wheels are off!
  • ● What do you do when you have a client who has resolved their issues around gender identity, yet other issues are cropping up?
  • ● Upon the discovery of certain deeper issues, some clients realize that they cannot trust themselves.
  • ● Sasha has seen her clients feeling ashamed for their prior thinking.
  • ● Some of Stella’s clients wished the whole event didn’t happen. Well, it did. Let’s forgive ourselves a little.
  • ● Sometimes what feels like progress and going forward can also sidetrack you and you find yourself going completely sideways. Life gets us like that, but therapy helps us process these changes in a healthy way.
  • ● The goal in therapy is not to just help them de-transition. The goal is to help them find the right answers for themselves.
  • ● When is it time for a client to leave?
  • ● What do you do when you, as a therapist, make a mistake?
  • ● Sasha has a lot of her thoughts and opinions online. There have been times clients have read that and disagreed with her, and if the relationship hasn’t been built, this can really hurt progress.
  • ● Stella knows it’s ended badly when the client is always on her mind and she’s rethinking of ways to better handle the situation.
  • ● Stella is curious to know if people “relapse” with gender the same way people might with food disorders.
  • ● Stella has noticed people talking about their feelings of transitioning as if it were a drug.
  • ● It can be so frustrating to see a patient not make progress, yet they still keep coming. There must be something there.
  • ● Stella also worries for younger patients who use therapy as a crutch. She doesn’t want to create chronic patients.
  • ● What do you do when you feel it’s time to terminate the client relationship, but the client still wants to keep going?

  • This podcast is partially sponsored by ReIME, Rethink Identity Medicine Ethics:
  • Rethinkime.org

  • Learn more about our show: Linktr.ee/WiderLensPod



This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to gender, a wider lens.

0:04.0

I'm Stella O'Malley, a psychotherapist in Ireland.

0:06.5

And I'm Sasha Ayad, an adolescent therapist in the United States.

0:10.6

Since 2016, my practice has been exclusively dedicated to gender questioning teens

0:16.1

and families impacted by gender dysphoria. I also work with gender questioning

0:20.7

teenagers and I facilitated support meetings for families and

0:24.2

individuals who have been impacted by gender issues. We're curious about the

0:28.1

concept of gender and how it's unfolding in the wider culture. Join us as we look at gender through a wider lens.

0:35.0

Hi, Setta.

0:38.0

Hi Stella, how are you today?

0:41.0

Good, good. This Curtain Series has been very interesting and I imagine we are going to do all sorts of nuances

0:49.4

and offshoots of behind the curtain. Within a wider lens there will be behind the curtain will continue I think because we had a great response from from listeners and I think you and I Sasha have really enjoyed and found it very easy to talk with this because this is our kind of,

1:08.9

this is our meeting to veg, this is our day-to-day work, So it's actually been very easy for us. Yeah, it

1:15.9

feels very natural to be able to talk about what happens in therapy. And I'm much

1:20.0

more comfortable talking about that sometimes than I am about making kind of

1:24.4

cultural commentary or talking about history or research statistics like I mean this

1:29.2

has definitely been I think where I feel natural. But like all good things, we are now approaching

1:38.0

our last episode of this particular series where we talk about wrapping up gender exploratory therapy.

1:46.7

And you know, before we started the program I was even thinking about how this is not always a very clear or linear process and I find that for

1:58.7

me the work with a client often continues beyond just our time talking about gender because of course once you

2:06.7

resolve the gender issue whatever else was there can crop up and on the other hand there are some people who continue on with

2:15.6

gender transition and that there's a lot of work in supporting that person that

...

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