If I think back to before I was this whole inner life thing was my entire world, you know,

it's like it's what I talk about it's what people ask me about it's what I write about I think about it constantly

But it is important that I try and reverse back to original mind sometimes and think about what was my perception like

prior to understanding any of these things. And it's really strange and I think about like in a progressive way like

okay now then how did I think whenever I was this age and how did I think whenever I

was this age and so on and so on.

And if I stop and think about it, it's pretty interesting to get these flashes of

what my perception was like in terms of how I saw the world in myself at each stage of my life and my understanding, let's say, my insight.

But also it's interesting to consider, like,

and just really put myself back in the driver's seat

of what my relationship was like to my own thoughts and emotions at each of those stages as well.

And if I go back to the very beginning, well not the very beginning, that would be me being born.

After I came online as a stream of consciousness and became self-aware you know I think back to those times and there was no separation.

It's so strange.

Is that like, there wasn't a distinction between my thoughts and my experience.

It was just all smashed together.

Like I really wasn't aware that I was even thinking.

It's like I was just living in this movie that was like playing out.

And I was just this actor in this theatrical production.

I was just trying to navigate and like negotiate reality at all times.

And I try and never forget what that was and what that felt like because at the time. I try and never forget what that was and what that felt like.

Because at the time... and what that felt like.

...