276: Lydia Joy Launderville | My Bitterness is a Gift

Preacher Boys Podcast

Eric Skwarczynski

Documentary, Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, True Crime, Christianity

4.6 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2024

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Lydia Joy Launderville was born and raised in the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement until leaving at the age of 21. More than half a decade later, she continues to speak about those beginning years, what life in the Church was like, her decision to leave her only community and fundamentalist faith behind in order to find safety, freedom, happiness and the ability to practice free will. She writes about the struggles cult survivors of all stripes experience when leaving one life for the chance of another, and the journey towards healing after spiritual abuse. There's freedom in questions and hope for the formers.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I like to say that my bitterness is a gift. I work hard for that bitterness because beforehand I was
0:07.6	going along with what they said. You know, I can't feel these things. I can't feel angry about my
0:13.7	body being violated. I can't feel angry about people trying to kill me. I can't feel angry or
0:19.5	bitter about anything. And then I realize that's for the
0:23.0	church's sake. That's for the leadership's sake. That's for the ideal reputation in their quote
0:29.4	quote testimony. I'm angry. I'm angry that this happened to me. And you know what? I have a right to
0:35.0	be. I'm angry that this happened to people I love.
0:44.3	I'm angry that we weren't protected. I'm angry that my abuser didn't plead guilty, even though he took an alfred plea. These things, they're very valid. And I usually just never entertain the
0:51.5	forgiveness and forget conversation with these people because it comes from
0:55.7	their belief system and their doctrine that to me historically has shown is set up not to
1:01.4	help victims, but to protect the abusers and the church's testimony.
1:07.5	Trigger warning. This podcast contains descriptions of various abusive situations. Listener discretion is advised. You are listening to the Preacher Boys podcast, a podcast shedding light on decades of mental, physical, and sexual abuse within the independent fundamental Baptist movement. The testimony shared on this podcast are told from the personal experience and perspective
1:31.9	of the survivors.
1:33.6	Not all legal outcomes are known or final.
1:36.6	Any suspect is presumed innocent until proven guilty in the court of law.
1:41.2	Now, here's your host, Eric Squarsinski. All right, everybody, welcome back to the show.
1:48.0	Lydia, thanks for joining me on today's episode. Thank you so much for having me. You're definitely on the
1:52.7	list of how has this not happened sooner when it comes to, like, yes on the podcast. Because I think
1:58.6	we connected maybe right at the beginning of the show coming out. I know I've been following your stuff for, it feels like since 2020. But yeah, it's been a long time coming. I've always wanted to come on the show. I actually remember the first time that you shared a live or a video inside one of our support networks. And I was like, yes, I've been waiting for this to happen.
2:20.0	So that's been a long time, at least 2020, I'd say, yeah.
2:23.5	Yeah, that's super cool.
2:24.5	Yeah, in the beginning, it was like, I didn't have anybody watching anything I was doing.
	...

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