273: Stop the Fight—How to Break the Negative Cycle

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Cloud10

Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2021

⏱️ 35 minutes

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Summary

Are you always having what feels like the same fight? Does the negative cycle leave you feeling frustrated and angry? Or misunderstood and like you're failing? Can you see what your partner does clearly but not see how what you do is contributing to the problem? George and Laurie use and acronym T.E.M.P.O. to help organize your thinking so you can be less reactive. Getting to know your feelings, what your body is communicating and how you are making sense of it all can give you emotional intelligence. Find the "space" that can change the pattern so you can help each other in these difficult moments and stay connected. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following content is not suitable for children. So, G-man, I want to talk about tempo, your
0:05.5	acronym, because I use this a lot with people. It really helps organize them, especially when
0:12.0	a person is ready to see their own part in the cycle. And this is like, what am I doing that
0:22.4	causes this thing to go awry? And it's an organizing acronym to help them figure that out.
0:29.2	If you're going to use tempo, you've got to say it right. Tempo, you've got to find tempo,
0:33.9	right? We've got to have the energy in a tempo. But we're having fun with it. And yes, I think
0:39.3	acronym to helpful if it helps break down a complex process in a simple way that people can hold
0:46.1	on to. So, if you're interested in your part and you want to figure it out, what you might be
0:51.4	contributing, here we go. Welcome to For Play Radio. Couples in Sex Therapy. I'm Laurie Watson,
1:00.4	your sex therapist. And I'm George Fallon, your couples therapist. And we are passionate about
1:05.6	talking about sex and helping you develop a way to talk to each other. Our mission is to help our
1:12.0	audience develop a healthier relationship to sex that integrates the mind, the heart, and the body.
1:19.7	We got to say to about our sponsors, Uberloo, Manscaped, oh my god, yes, and Adi.
1:27.6	You know, I went to the FDA to get help get Adi approved. And we only take sponsors with
1:33.2	products that we really believe in, do something good. I mean, we are approached all the time with
1:38.2	all kinds of products and stuff that we turn down. So, we're recommending things that we have
1:44.2	recommended to patients that we've seen as a good product, a healthy product, something that we
1:50.0	think will help you. Something that's promoting healthy sex. Really, that's that's our mission.
1:56.6	And all these products are just trying to move the needle and get people more comfortable talking
2:01.8	about sex and enjoying sex. So, we really appreciate that partnership. GMAN, say it again,
2:09.5	tempo, tempo, feel a tempo. You know, it's so obvious to see what our partner is doing. I totally
2:20.7	get how my husband blows it and contributes to the negative cycle. But figuring out what I do,
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