They did it again. Flower, instead of flowers, on my birthday. And 95 minutes late, but it's hard to leave when you've shared so much. Your postcode, your gluten intolerance. Then I saw it. 25% off your first Akado shop, plus free delivery. And I just knew I'd found the online supermarket of my dreams.

Arcado, life delivered.

Geographical restrictions, mined spend 60 pounds and charges apply.

Max saving 20 pounds, new customers only.

Terms at Accardo.com.

You know when you get home and you think that you're going to get some lovely welcome from your partner?

I mean, you obviously get a welcome from the dogs, but instead, instead of saying, oh, it's so lovely to see you again after your night away, do you know what i just got like 10 minutes ago when i got home what did you get darling looks like you've sat in chocolate

what kind of trousers are you wearing and i said no i just shit myself

in my rush to get home to do the podcast with Jackie.

No, I haven't actually inspected the trousers, but I have taken them off and put my rather

unattractive leggings on.

You don't mean leggings.

No, I don't.

I mean sort of, what are they?

They're bottoms.

Are they tartany?

They're tartany.

With a nice, elasticated waist.

I think we've said this before.

I think they call them pull-ons.

Oh right.

But you deserve to be comfy.

...