Y'all, last night I was entertaining a gentleman caller and I'm basking in the afterglow of orgasms past and all of a sudden I look down on my phone. I'm like, I have two missed FaceTime calls from Ellen. It's 12.30 a.m. here. So that means it's 3.30 a.m. in New York City immediately run into the kitchen. I'm like, I have to call her and make sure everything is okay. And I had just been talking about her. And my friend goes, yeah, go, go, go, go.

This bitch is in her bed.

Eyes-quited. run into the kitchen. I'm like, I have to call her and make sure everything's okay. And I had just been talking about her. And my friend goes, yeah, go, go, go, go. This bitch is in her bed, eyes closed. And I was like, she's stone. And she goes, it's too bad we are doing pink collar crimes for the tour because then we can seek peak booty club. I said, don't ever call my phone again and hung up on her. Eddie hung on. In my defense, there is no defense.

I was having a very creative stone night. I was getting all kinds of inspiration because we had just had Swamp Talk and people were talking about the tour. And I was like, let me get my mind working for tour. What do we want to sing? What do we want to do? You've never been to our live show. It's like a vaudeville show. This is up the firm one. There's a little singing. There's a little

dancing. There's a little voices. There's a little skits. And I have had pink pony girl in my ear all weekend long. Pink Pony Club. And then I called him and I couldn't breathe. And I thought, Well, if there was still pink-collar crimes, and I love pink.

Listen, it made sense at the time.

This man said, never call my phone again. And I had just been talking about you saying, like, oh, she's literally like my sister. Because everyone always asks, what's it like to be in business with your best friend? And I was like, in any other case, I probably wouldn't do it.

But Ellen and I, it's just different. I just said she's like my sister. And I walk into the room, he goes, you guys really are like brother and sister. You all, I cannot tread on this trust that he has. What very little is left? Because he's like, what's wrong, honey? Everything okay? Yeah. I didn't have words. I didn't have words.

Well, I did.

I had several.

I'm a horrible person.

You don't have words. I didn't have words. Well, I did.

I had several.

I'm a horrible person.

You don't deserve this kind of abuse. But it was so funny. Hi, everyone. It's the Down Bid Society. We can do whatever we want. Get your tits out. Do whatever you want. Listen, we're not going to be here for long. I was talking to my agent today and he was saying that his husband has Spanish

citizenship and they're looking for a summer home slash escape route. And I was talking about Lola

and how she has citizenship and she could go to college in England and we were talking about

Brexit and all this stuff. And I was like, what are we talking about? We're not making it to when she gets to

college. We're not going to make it till then. That's nice, dear. You all, buckle up. This is a really fascinating episode of how I caught my killer. This would have been the pitch episode. Totally. You know what I'm saying? Like, they heard this story and they were like, oh my gosh, we need to make a TV show.

This is it.

This is the episode.

Agreed.

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