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Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

266. Your Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open: Managing the Voice in Your Head

Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Think Fast Talk Smart

Career, Public Speaking, Career Growth, Career Skills, Language Learning, Education, Communicating, Careers, Communication, Influence, Business, Improv, Leadership

4.7 • 806 Ratings

🗓️ 23 February 2026

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How to turn down the chatter of negative self-talk.


If you want to have better conversations with others, Ethan Kross says you first have to quiet down the chatter in your own head.

A professor, researcher, and author, Kross defines chatter as a “negative thought loop” that hijacks our attention and undermines our ability to perform. “We have a limited capacity to focus our attention,” he says. “Attentional resources are a limited commodity, and chatter acts like a sponge that consumes that capacity. It leaves very little leftover that allows us to do the things that we want or need to do.” 

In his work researching, teaching, and writing about emotional regulation and the conscious mind, Kross has explored how to manage the negative self-talk that sabotages our concentration. “Here's the good news,” he says. “You can get out of it. Managing your chatter [is] a lot like becoming physically fit” — and he’s developed tools and frameworks for building the muscles to turn down the noise.

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Kross joins host Matt Abrahams to share methods for quieting chatter and reclaiming precious mental resources. From distanced self-talk to mental time travel, his tools offer a way to tune out the static and tune into clarity and connection.

To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium.

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Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:28) - Defining Chatter
  • (04:58) - Breaking the Loop
  • (09:55) - Technology & Emotional Sharing
  • (13:21) - Why “Get Over It” Fails
  • (18:41) - Emotions as Data
  • (21:12) - The Final Three Questions
  • (24:58) - Conclusion

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, Matt here. Before we get started, two quick opportunities for us to interact. This Thursday,

0:06.1

February 26, at 8 a.m. Pacific, I'm hosting an AMA, Ask Matt Anything in our Think Fast Talk

0:12.2

Smart learning community. I'd love to see you there. And also, don't forget to take advantage

0:16.6

of our Valentine's Day free coach Matt AI offering. Join our learning community at

0:21.8

FasterSmarter.io slash learning. Now a word from one of our sponsors. Their support allows us to bring

0:28.1

you quality content free of charge. Hi, Matt here. I recently have done some international travel,

0:36.2

and I'm always amazed when people can

0:38.4

speak the language of the country they're visiting. So for my upcoming trip, I'll be using Babel,

0:43.0

my go-to app for science-backed language learning. Babel lets me practice real-life conversation,

0:48.7

step-by-step without the stress. It helps me build the confidence to speak up when it matters,

0:53.5

from ordering a coffee

0:54.8

or chatting with new friends. However you learn best by listening, speaking, reading, or writing,

1:01.0

Babel adapts to your style and keeps you motivated with personalized learning plans, real-time

1:05.9

feedback, and progress tracking. Right now, Babel is offering up to 55% off your subscription at babble.com

1:13.2

slash T-F-T-S. That's Babel, B-A-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-E-L-T-F-T-S. To get up to 55% off,

1:22.6

rules and restrictions may apply.

1:30.0

Doom loops can be one of the biggest barriers to effective communication, yet we can

1:35.9

quiet the chatter and regulate our emotions.

1:39.2

My name is Matt Abrams, and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School

1:43.5

of Business.

1:44.4

Welcome to Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast.

1:47.9

Today I'm really excited to speak with Ethan Cross.

...

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