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The Jordan Harbinger Show

266: Should I Tell My Friend He's a Horrible Person? | Feedback Friday

The Jordan Harbinger Show

Jordan Harbinger

Education, Science, Business

4.812.1K Ratings

🗓️ 17 October 2019

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Recently you stopped all contact with a childhood friend due to his toxic behavior. He went through a pretty bad breakup due to his behavior and you had enough. He thinks that by being a horrible dick to people, he's being really honest and helping them. Your other friends tell you that you should talk to him about why you cut him off, but you feel you've told him one too many times why he's a dick and what he could do to change. Do you owe him a conversation just because you were childhood friends? On this Feedback Friday, we'll try to help you decide whether to continue ghosting this ex-friend or actually take the time to tell him he's a horrible person.

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/266.

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
  • Interested in doing some prison time with Jordan next February? It's filling up fast; reach out to [email protected] for details!
  • Recently you stopped all contact with a childhood friend due to his toxic behavior. Do you owe him a conversation just because you were childhood friends -- even if it's just to tell him he's a horrible person?
  • You've grown distant from your once-close sibling, who has become increasingly anxious and self-isolated to the point where family visits never happen anymore. Is there a way you can help draw them out?
  • Your boyfriend enjoys porn, so you're wondering -- from a guy's perspective -- why is it necessary to have an “escape” from a relationship with a partner who is perfectly willing to do it all? Is he just scared to be vulnerable enough to ask you?
  • After six potential relationships got nipped in the bud because the other person says you're "too good" for them, your suspicions are aroused. What's the most likely story, and what can you do to change this all-too-familiar outcome?
  • When you work in politics and it's election season, how do you wrangle your campaign volunteers to do the work that's proven effective (phone calls and knocking on doors) instead of the work they want to do (strategy meetings and social media)?
  • You're constantly told you need to meet with mentors, but you've gotten a lot of terrible advice from them. Is there any value to just going through the motions with bad mentors who may be great connections if not the soundest strategists?
  • You're a shoe-in for a job opportunity opening near you soon, but it would mean pulling out of a job you're not that excited about that requires a lengthy commute. How can you let go of the latter job without leaving anyone in the lurch?
  • Life Pro Tip: Feeling a gag reflex? Squeeze your fist really...

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to Feedback Friday. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. I'm here with producer

0:08.0

Jason to fill up out. On the Jordan Harbinger show, we decode the stories, secrets, and

0:11.9

skills of the world's most brilliant and interesting people. And we turned there

0:15.2

wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around

0:19.5

you. This week we had Mike Row of dirty jobs and returning the favor. Mike Row, man,

0:24.8

this guy an interesting cat with a storied career. We talked all about why you shouldn't

0:29.2

follow your passion, but actually take it with you. And of course, he just everything

0:32.9

he says is kind of like funny and very wise. So how he's enjoyed those conversations.

0:38.4

We also had my friend, Moran surf. Moran and I talked about chip implants in the brain,

0:43.8

how he used to rob banks for legit somehow rob banks and make money legitimately. It

0:48.7

was a hacker. Gone neuroscientists. So he's a really sharp, interesting guy and a good

0:52.9

friend of mine. I really liked that conversation as well. So make sure you go and check those

0:55.9

out. Mike Row and Moran surf. I also write every so often on the blog. One of the latest

1:00.3

posts is how you should stop talking about your goals. If you want to actually accomplish

1:05.3

them, this is some interesting science because a lot of people like to walk around being

1:08.6

like, I'm going to do this here are my affirmations. Actually, you're not supposed to do any

1:12.6

of that. Our brains like to have a little premature celebration when we talk about our

1:17.0

goals and it's actually unhealthy and we'll go into the science behind why that is not

1:21.0

good for you. That's on the blog at Jordan Harbinger.com slash articles. So make sure you've

1:26.9

had a look at that article and listen to everything we created for you this week. Of course,

1:30.8

our primary mission is to pass along wisdom to you, whether that's our experiences and

1:35.3

insights or those of our guests. And so we want to have conversations directly with you

...

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