264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space

No Such Thing As A Fish

Arts, Nature, History, Science, Improv, Comedy

4.8 • 17.9K Ratings

🗓️ 12 April 2019

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a Weekly Podcast.
0:17.6	This week coming to you live from Bustapal!
0:22.1	My name is Dan Schreiber and I am sitting here with Anichis Zinski and Drew Hunter
0:29.8	Murray and James Harkin and once again we have gathered around the microphones with our
0:34.3	four favorite facts from the last seven days and in no particular order here we go.
0:40.4	Starting with fact number one and that's my fact this week.
0:43.2	My fact is the 95 year old billionaire who controls Viacom and CBS now communicates via
0:50.4	an iPad preloaded with audio clips.
0:54.2	His choices include yes, no and fuck you.
1:01.2	So how does this work?
1:04.3	You're having a conversation with him and rather than respond with his mouth then he
1:08.3	responds by clicking a button.
1:09.8	He's a very old man now he's 95 years old and his speaking has gone quite bad so his
1:16.2	communication is very bad so what they've done is they've helped him swear at people
1:22.5	as much force via a button.
1:25.9	Because he can't swallow he has a problem with this throat.
1:29.4	He is fed through a tube and he really really likes steak and he wants to eat steak but
1:33.8	they will never let him because he has this tube and they say the only way he can get
1:37.5	rid of his tube is if he conserves his energy by reducing his sexual activity to once a
1:42.4	week.
1:43.4	And he refuses.
1:45.6	It's called redstone.
	...

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