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No Such Thing As A Fish

264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space

No Such Thing As A Fish

No Such Thing As A Fish

Arts, Nature, History, Science, Improv, Comedy

4.817.9K Ratings

🗓️ 12 April 2019

⏱️ 35 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a Weekly Podcast.

0:17.6

This week coming to you live from Bustapal!

0:22.1

My name is Dan Schreiber and I am sitting here with Anichis Zinski and Drew Hunter

0:29.8

Murray and James Harkin and once again we have gathered around the microphones with our

0:34.3

four favorite facts from the last seven days and in no particular order here we go.

0:40.4

Starting with fact number one and that's my fact this week.

0:43.2

My fact is the 95 year old billionaire who controls Viacom and CBS now communicates via

0:50.4

an iPad preloaded with audio clips.

0:54.2

His choices include yes, no and fuck you.

1:01.2

So how does this work?

1:04.3

You're having a conversation with him and rather than respond with his mouth then he

1:08.3

responds by clicking a button.

1:09.8

He's a very old man now he's 95 years old and his speaking has gone quite bad so his

1:16.2

communication is very bad so what they've done is they've helped him swear at people

1:22.5

as much force via a button.

1:25.9

Because he can't swallow he has a problem with this throat.

1:29.4

He is fed through a tube and he really really likes steak and he wants to eat steak but

1:33.8

they will never let him because he has this tube and they say the only way he can get

1:37.5

rid of his tube is if he conserves his energy by reducing his sexual activity to once a

1:42.4

week.

1:43.4

And he refuses.

1:45.6

It's called redstone.

...

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