262. "We make $167k. Why do we feel poor?"

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6 • 124 Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2026

⏱️ 116 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Drew and Amanda, a married couple earning around $167,000 a year with a net worth of over $800,000. On paper, they look financially successful but behind the scenes, their fixed costs are dangerously high, their savings are low, and their spending decisions are causing tension in the relationship. Drew admits he struggles with spending, while Amanda finds it difficult to say no, leaving them stuck in a pattern where money feels stressful instead of empowering. In this episode we uncover: • Their household income of around $167,000 a year • Why they still feel financially stretched despite a strong net worth • Their surprisingly low savings compared with their assets • How fixed costs reached around 89% of their gross income • Drew’s struggle with spending and impulse decisions • Amanda’s difficulty saying no without feeling like the “bad guy” • The hidden relationship dynamic behind their financial stress • Why eating out 6–8 times a week became a major spending leak • The role of bonuses in justifying bigger spending decisions • Amanda’s childhood experiences with financial instability • Drew’s “you only live once” money mindset • How their daughter is learning from their financial behaviour • Ramit’s challenge for them to stop making emotional money decisions • Why vacations may need to pause while they rebuild savings • Their plan to create a family money philosophy and emergency fund ⏩ CHAPTERS (00:03:15) Why Drew applied to the podcast (00:07:00) The hidden decision-making problem (00:10:30) Why they don’t feel like a team with money (00:16:15) Their financial numbers revealed (00:21:15) The reality of their household income (00:29:25) Fixed costs are the real problem (00:33:10) The truth about eating out (00:35:50) How bonuses fuel spending (00:39:30) The couple who struggle to say no (00:45:30) Amanda’s childhood money story (00:56:30) Their inherited money beliefs (00:58:20) Starting their Rich Life vision (01:04:00) Pausing vacations to rebuild stability (01:10:00) Drew practices saying no (01:16:30) Amanda’s role changes (01:20:30) Cutting subscriptions and eating out (01:29:30) Redirecting money toward savings (01:36:00) Creating a family money philosophy (01:44:30) Ramit’s final advice THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Wispr Flow | Try Wispr Flow for free at wisprflow.ai/ramit Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube Calling LA couples: Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply

Transcript

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0:00.0	$167,000. What do you all think of that income?
0:03.5	I'm super proud of the work that we've put in, but we don't have enough.
0:08.5	It's kind of like always a struggle and it makes me sad.
0:13.5	I am the one with the spending problem and I have asked Amanda to make me stop.
0:19.0	I have a hard time saying no. Money's just not my thing.
0:23.1	You have a crisis right now. You're spending more than you make every month and you only have
0:28.6	$13,000 in savings. Yeah. What do you think is going on? I know what to say to eventually get what I
0:36.4	want. With like money, we've seen how each other maneuvers with it.
0:41.0	And so we need each other to do the bad thing.
0:44.7	If I keep spending like this, are we going to have enough to retire at a comfortable age
0:50.8	and enjoy my life with Amanda moving forward?
0:54.1	How are you going to do that?
0:55.0	I don't know how people just turn that switch.
0:58.0	Why is it that you make good money, but you still worry about it?
1:05.0	Today we are going to get into that very question that plagues millions of people.
1:10.0	I'm going to speak to Drew and Amanda. They're
1:12.8	married. They're in their mid-30s. They have a six-year-old daughter. And they make a combined
1:16.6	$167,000 a year. But with low savings and high fixed costs, they're basically one emergency
1:24.3	away from being in serious trouble. Let's take a look at the numbers. I'm looking at
1:28.8	their conscious spending plan or CSP. If you want my help with your CSP so you can understand your
1:35.2	four key numbers, join my money coaching program at IWT.com slash money coaching. Assets, $925,000,
1:43.9	investments, $454,000. Savings, 13,000. Debt, $568,000. Net worth, $824,000.
	...

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