#262: How to Change Unwanted Patterns in Life and Love with Vienna Pharaon

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 20 February 2023

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Themes: Childhood Wounds, Family Systems, People-Pleasing, Relationships, Self-Worth Summary: I think it’s safe to say that none of us had a perfect childhood, and we all carry around behaviours and unhealed pain that doesn’t serve us. But it doesn’t have to be that way: our past may have created our patterns, but we can change them with some self-awareness and the right tools. Join my bestie Vienna Pharaon and me as we dive into understanding and overcoming wounds from our Family of Origin, so you can move beyond your frustrating patterns in life and love and into a more liberated way of being. Vienna is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City’s most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Her first book, The Origins of You, hits shelves on February 21st, 2023. Discover: How unhealed pain or “wounds” from our Family of Origin manifest in our adult behaviours Why it’s so difficult to hold the paradox of being both disappointed with and grateful for our upbringing Five common “origin wounds” and how they show up in our adult lives How to identify and start to heal the origin wounds that hold you back 00:00 Intro 02:10 How childhood wounds impact us today 13:57 You don’t need to have a traumatic childhood to have wounds 18:19 Being both disappointed with and grateful for aspects of your upbringing 29:23 Examples of origin wounds 32:35 The belonging wound 36:53 The prioritization wound 45:15 Safety and trust wounds 55:42 How to begin healing Links: Website | viennapharaon.com Instagram | @mindfulmft Book | The Origins of You 6 Week LIVE Coaching Experience with Vienna Sponsors: Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com Open | Try Open for 30 days free! Go to withopen.com/createthelove and use code CREATETHELOVE to sign up Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0	Our wounds are not out to harm us.
0:02.6	Our wounds are out to be healed.
0:04.5	They're going to tug at us.
0:05.6	They want our attention because the pain from the past wants to be resolved.
0:09.6	But if we don't resolve it, it's going to keep finding ways to poke its little head up.
0:14.9	It'll crash and burn the stuff around you if you don't tend to it.
0:24.0	Hi. I'm tend to it. Hi, my name is Mark Groves and I'm obsessed with understanding human behavior and why we do what we do.
0:30.1	In this podcast, I interview the world's most brilliant minds and hearts where I get to explore
0:34.4	alongside you, every subject you can imagine relating to our human experience and how we relate. It is my deepest intention that we all learn how to create the life and love that we've always dreamt of. Now, before we get rolling, make sure you hit that subscribe button so you don't miss any episodes. And one ask that I have, and an amazing way that you can help support the podcast is by wherever you listen to it, giving it a five-star review and a written review.
0:56.2	With all that said, let's dive in and transform our lives.
1:02.6	Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast.
1:06.7	Today I have world-renowned marriage and family therapist.
1:13.0	Vienna-Ferrin, welcome.
1:14.9	Thank you.
1:15.4	I know it took so much out of you to hold back from saying Vienna-Ferun.
1:21.8	Indeed.
1:22.3	I had to learn loving me to pronounce your name properly.
1:26.7	For context to everybody, we are also best friends. So that
1:30.0	helps in the dialogue. And Vienna's been one of my greatest teachers. So I'm so excited to have
1:36.4	you back on the podcast because you were like one of the OG guests, I think, in the first 10 that I
1:40.7	did. So welcome back. I think that I was the first episode. You would have been the second
1:47.4	because I was the first. But yes, you might have actually been. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. You can go back
	...

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