260: The Madonna/Whore Split

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Cloud10

Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2020

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Originally identified by Freud, the “madonna/whore complex” is the inability to maintain sexual arousal in committed, long-term relationships. It is the split between the softhearted and sexual currents in male desire. Freud wrote “where such men love they have no desire, and where they desire they cannot love.” Men want to keep the two separate- they desire a sexual partner who is sexy and promiscuous, while they cannot sexually desire the respected partner. Women in particular split themselves- whether it’s the all-giving, loving mother madonna or the fun, sexy party girl. It can be hard to merge the two! The difficulty when you're in a committed monogamous relationship, is this how do we let both parts of ourselves out? And how do we see both parts in our partner. The same applies to women and their conflicting desire for the “caveman/co-partner!” Don’t settle for either/or! How can you have both? Sometimes this requires re-eroticizing your partner, taking risks, and rekindling the lustful side of yourselves. What Freud was missing was...you need secure attachment to make it work! In order to bridge the divide of how to feel safe while also bringing out that lustful side, you need clean ways of communicating that create safety in your relationship. That integration is the key!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Seeking the truth never gets old.
0:03.0	Introducing June's Journey, the free to play mobile game that will immerse you in a thrilling murder mystery.
0:09.0	Join June Parker as she uncovers hidden objects and clues to solve her sister's death in a beautifully
0:14.4	illustrated world set in the roaring 20s. With new chapters added every week,
0:19.3	the excitement never ends! Download June's journey now on your Never Ends.
0:29.0	Download June's Journey Now on your Android or iOS device or play on PC through Facebook games.
0:32.0	The following content is not suitable for children. Okay, Lorry. Today, let's see if we can reconcile the whore Madonna Split.
0:40.1	Oof! Welcome to 4. Whoof. George Fallon, a couples therapist. And we are passionate about talking about sex and helping you develop a way to talk to each other.
0:58.0	Our mission is to help our audience develop a healthier relationship to sex that integrates the mind, the heart, and the body.
1:07.0	For a great personal lubricant, please check out UberLube.com and use the coupon foreplay to support us at the podcast. Thanks. I think
1:16.5	you just enjoyed saying that George. I felt the emotion swirled inside of me. So the horror Madonna split, what is it?
1:27.0	That's what we're going to talk about first.
1:29.0	Basically, there's a difficulty in long-term relationship and the first person who kind of
1:35.4	coined this was Freud and I know there's a lot of anti-Foyders out there and you know
1:41.6	Freud had a huge contribution to the field but he really did not know about
1:46.0	the research zero to five years old. So he didn't understand attachment theory, therefore a lot of what he contributed had missing parts but I think this one he
1:56.8	got it and he treated particularly men who would say you know I have a wife and I have a mistress. And, you know, I love my wife. I love her to bits and she's my partner and we're having children together but I want my mistress and I
2:16.8	don't really want my wife and so he said where they love they cannot
2:21.9	desire and where they desire they cannot love because the man didn't want to go and live with his mistress.
2:28.8	He wanted that separate.
2:30.8	He wanted that split off from the mundane.
2:34.0	My interpretation is he wanted his cake and eat it too.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Cloud10, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Cloud10 and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.