259-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.7 • 23.4K Ratings

🗓️ 10 October 2014

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This episode is for Vegan's only!! Carnists are not allowed to listen. SORRY! Now that it's only us, picture Tommy kissing your thighs. Feel better? GOOOOOOD. Why do people over 50 refuse to drink water? Water is in us and everywhere around us. Maybe they are just wiser and know that nothing satisfies your bodies cravings for hydration and nutrients like Diet Coke. It tastes good and it's good for you. Especially post-workout. Do you remember your father's funeral? How many orgasms did you have staring at his corpse? We found someone that may have been more aroused than you and it's ALL TIME CLASSIC MOM mode already. Get ready to cry from joy and from your relentless orgasms on this one!

Transcript

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0:00.0	You wanna?
0:02.0	Let me poop!
0:05.0	I have that song in my head now for days.
0:07.0	So good!
0:09.0	So good!
0:10.0	The next American Idol!
0:12.0	Cousin Jeanette singing Let Me Poo.
0:15.0	We're gonna see Cousin Jeanette.
0:17.0	I know how this weekend I can't wait.
0:19.0	Her birthday was the seventh though.
0:21.0	Oh shoot.
0:22.0	I told her I knew it was...
0:23.0	You know when you know that somebody's birthday is one of four months?
0:26.0	Yeah.
0:27.0	Like, I called her yesterday I go.
0:29.0	I know it's either October, March, June or August.
0:33.0	Yeah.
0:34.0	And she goes, yeah, it was yesterday.
0:36.0	Shit.
0:37.0	So I wasn't wrong.
0:39.0	No, you were in the ballpark.
0:41.0	I didn't even know.
	...

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