#258: Men’s Work: Facing Your Darkness and Finding Freedom with Connor Beaton

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 30 January 2023

⏱️ 113 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Themes: Masculinity, Emotions, Vulnerability, Relationships, Men’s Work, Self-Worth, Purpose, Pornography Summary: Today I’m chatting with one of my good friends, Connor Beaton. Connor is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization dedicated to men's wellness, success, and fulfillment. Connor is a coach, facilitator, teacher, podcast host, and speaker who helps men from all over the world find purpose, healthy love, a joy-filled life, and fulfilling sexual connection. His teachings draw from an in-depth apprenticeship in Jungian psychology, Gestalt, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and both Buddhist and Taoist traditions. Known for his no-nonsense approach and compassionate understanding of human limitations, Connor has coached thousands of men through private coaching, group work, workshops, retreats, and masterminds. He has also shared the stage with renowned speakers like Gary Vaynerchuk, Lewis Howes, and Danielle LaPorte. Tune in for a free-flowing conversation where we jam on the challenges men face today, masculinity, turning towards our pain, and his new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom. Discover: Our thoughts on why toxic masculinity manifests Why emotional suppression is so common for men in our culture today The healing that is being asked of men right now The value of an initiatory process as young men Why turning towards your pain is necessary in order to find freedom and be the man you want to be Why porn has become an addiction for many and its effect on relationships 00:00 Intro 04:12 The men’s movement 06:10 Emotionality in men 12:00 Toxic masculinity 16:28 Hurt people hurt people 25:41 Men and vulnerability 33:44 Healing the divide between men and women 49:09 Men’s work 54:42 A relationship with something bigger than yourself 59:20 “I don’t trust men…” 1:05:19 You don’t need to hit rock bottom to change 1:13:53 There’s more to it than vulnerability 1:22:51 What fulfilling relationships require 1:28:00 Being present 1:31:27 Pornography 1:42:49 Impact of pornography on relationships 1:46:18 Healing a porn addiction Links: Website | mantalks.com Instagram | @mantalks Book | Men's Work, A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom Podcast | ManTalks Sponsors: Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0	Generally speaking, what we've done is we've had a culture within male culture that if you look
0:07.3	throughout history has made it possible for men to share the depths of their being, to talk about
0:12.4	their challenges, to talk about the problems, to talk about their pain. And instead, what we've
0:16.6	replaced it with is this notion within masculine culture that you become a stronger man through
0:21.8	suppression that strength equals suppression that the more that you can stuff shit down the stronger
0:27.4	you'll be what's up man you know what i was thinking about when well first off thanks for having me
0:36.5	dude but we have talks all the time we might as well just record them i agree when, well, first off, thanks for having me. Dude.
0:38.0	But.
0:39.1	We have talks all the time.
0:40.2	We might as well just record them.
0:41.5	I agree.
0:46.7	You know, what I was going to say is I think that we undervalue as human beings getting to be a fly on the wall in other people's conversations, you know, especially like people
0:50.9	that we respect or admire.
0:53.3	Yeah, that's true.
0:53.7	And I think that sometimes some of the best conversations and podcasts that I've listened to
0:59.3	are just people that I respect and admire, whether it's intellectually or from a spiritual level,
1:05.6	just sort of talking about what they think about.
1:09.3	And not in like a scripted way, but just kind of getting to be a fly on the wall.
1:13.7	And the other thing I was going to say is that when I walked in to this little room here,
1:18.5	I got a flashback of us sitting on your couch in your old apartment.
1:25.2	In York.
1:26.0	When we did the pod?
	...

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