#2578: How to Properly Lead a Witness
The Best of Car Talk
NPR
4.8 • 16.1K Ratings
🗓️ 30 September 2025
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Jerry’s SUV has a pronounced wiggle in the rear end and he’s unscuccessfully tried several expensive fixes. As he ticks them off to Click and Clack they beg him to make his facts fit the only diagnosis that they can come up with. Perry Mason it isn’t, on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Novelizers podcast, where we turn classic films like The Matrix and Dirty |
| 0:04.3 | into hilarious audiobooks narrated by guests like Rachel Dratch, Ira Glass, Samantha B, Will Forte, Wayne Brady, |
| 0:11.7 | J.K. Simmons, and more. Listen to The Novelizers podcast, hosted by me, Dave Hill, from Cincinnati Public Radio and the NPR Network. |
| 0:36.1 | Music from Cincinnati Public Radio and the NPR Network. Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, |
| 0:39.5 | Click and Clack the Tappertrothers, |
| 0:41.0 | and we're broadcasting this week from the Pearls of Wisdom Department here at Car Talk Plaza. |
| 0:46.0 | My brother evidently has some pearls. |
| 0:47.9 | Well, these pearls of wisdom are from none other than George Carlin, |
| 0:51.7 | and I'll give you a few. |
| 0:53.8 | George Carlin is getting wackier and wackier. |
| 0:58.2 | But you have to admit... |
| 0:59.6 | He's sort of like Gallagher. |
| 1:01.5 | They point out to you the things that are so ridiculous. |
| 1:06.4 | Right. |
| 1:07.3 | Prisons. |
| 1:09.1 | Did you know it cost $40,000 a year to house each prisoner? |
| 1:13.3 | Hell, for $40,000 bucks a piece, I'll take a few prisoners of my house. |
| 1:17.3 | I live in L.A. I already have bars on the windows. |
| 1:22.0 | I don't think we should give them free room and board. |
| 1:24.6 | I think they should have to run 12 hours a day on a treadmill and generate |
| 1:28.7 | electricity. Award shows. Can you believe how many award shows they have now? They have awards for |
| 1:35.5 | commercials, the Cleo Awards, a whole show full of commercials. I taped it, and then I fast forwarded |
... |
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