The following contains strong language, violence and nudity.

It is intended only for mature audiences.

Viewer discretion advised.

The following presentation is brought to you by the Realm Network.

All the way from the UK, it's Stuart Goldsmith.

Good evening, Melbourne.

How lovely to be here.

Thank you for having me. I got here last night and I'm staying in an Airbnb in Brunswick because I'm a very contemporary gentleman.

I don't know if you ever stayed in an Airbnb. I cannot recommend it enough. The way it works is when you go on your city break, which is like a holiday but for wankers. That's true, right? It's like the tapass of the holiday world. You pay more, you get less, but you feel five times a smug.

You go on your city break, instead of paying over the odds for a posh hotel, what you can do instead is get on this website

and it will hook you up with a stranger who trusts you with their home.

And then you betray that trust.

It is the most fun. I cannot recommend it enough. Once you're in, they leave. They leave the building with you there with all their stuff.

You don't like their spoons? Tip all their spoons in the bin.

Fuck them.

You can wear their clothes.

You're not allowed, of course. You know, it's illegal.

They can't stop you.

As soon as they leave the house, you can pop on Alfredo's Jim Jams and his bathrobe

and start sashaying around the flat, getting into character. Who is this Alfredo guy?

How does he walk?

How does he dance?

...