253: 2 Secrets to Stop Doing All the Work in Marriage

The Empowered Wife Podcast: Marriage Help with Laura Doyle

Laura Doyle

Trustedrelationshipexpert, Narcissism, Verbalabuse, Fixingmarriages, Relationships, Feelinglonely, Relationshipexpert, Alcoholabuse, Self-improvement, Angerissues, Intimacyskills, Midlifecrisis, Affairs, Fixingrelationship, Exhausted, Desired, Society & Culture, Special, Physicalabuse, Empoweredwife, Passionaterelationship, Playfulrelationship, Empoweredwives, Education, Unloved, Relationshipadvice

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 24 September 2024

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Learn life-changing ways to start feeling taken care of instead of lonely and exhausted. Because it’s too tiring to be the one who does everything, from taking care of kids to housework to earning money to paying bills and managing social plans. Especially if you’ve asked your man to help and it just feels like pulling teeth! Or if he does things and you have to redo them because they aren’t done right. It’s so unfair. Who wouldn’t be resentful when you’re doing so much more of the work? I was. VERY resentful. Even the things that he did, I had to remind him to do them, which was a heavy mental load. I told him he needed to step up and do more. That got me wall-to-wall hostility, but not more help with housework. So today, I’m revealing two secrets to stop doing all the work in marriage.

Plus, I have exciting news about The Empowered Wife Podcast!

Lots of you have asked how you can listen to case studies on a specific marriage topic, and we heard you. From now on, every guest interview will have its own podcast episode with its own title to match the topic, so you can search for it easily on lauradoyle.org. If you want to hear how to fix your marriage to a narcissist or a man with neurodiversity, or with a blended family or addiction, an affair or separation, or a sexless marriage, you can go to lauradoyle.org/podcasts and find new interview episodes by title.

I’ll also continue to share my experience and my best tips on how to practice the 6 Intimacy Skills™ to fix your marriage without his conscious effort in separate episodes so you can still search for those topics, too. Starting with this one…

Transcript

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0:00.0	Are you the one that does everything at your house like taking care of the kids doing all the housework earning money paying the bills making all the social plans?
0:08.0	Have you asked your husband to help but he won't and it just causes a fight. It's so exhausting and lonely and unfair. If you're
0:18.8	tired of doing all the work and you want him to do a lot more so you can get a break, this is for you.
0:25.0	I'm Laura Doyle, New York Times best-selling author, and I was the perfect wife.
0:31.0	But then I got married.
0:32.0	This is the Empowered Wife podcast. Here are two secrets to stop doing all the work in marriage and to explain this little known approach to getting your man to do more and also having him offer or surprise
0:45.8	you and just take initiative and do the dirty jobs with a smile, you need to understand
0:51.5	where this idea came from. It's a story that involves a huge
0:54.8	pile of dirty dishes and four negotiating experiments. Not long after we were
1:00.6	married I was doing most of the housework,
1:03.3	and the cooking and the grocery shopping, paying the bills,
1:06.0	and working full time while my husband John
1:08.7	mostly watched TV.
1:11.4	Even the things that he did, I had to remind him to do them. So it was a heavy mental load.
1:18.0	I was not happy about this, of course. I mean, who wouldn't be resentful? I was very resentful. But I knew what to do and this is experiment number one.
1:31.1	It didn't feel like an experiment to say this. It just felt like common sense.
1:36.0	I told him he needed to help with the housework more.
1:40.0	Like the dishes, for example, I said since I cooked, you should clean the kitchen.
1:44.7	So logical right?
1:47.2	I even made a list of chores and posted it on the fridge so he could see
1:52.4	that it was his job in case he forgot.
1:59.3	But nothing changed.
	...

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