252. "I’m 35, in debt, and spend everything I make"

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Business, Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing

4.6 • 124 Ratings

🗓️ 17 March 2026

⏱️ 96 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Lina, 35, and Mike, 28, a married couple living in South Florida with their 8-month-old son. Despite earning almost $200,000 annually, they've been entangled in debt since their wedding three years ago. They consistently make plans to conquer their financial woes but never follow through. Their debt has soared to over $750,000, and their fixed costs devour 98% of their take-home pay, leaving them with zero savings. Lina attributes their financial struggles to unexpected events, like her pregnancy, which led to her cutting back on work and an increased focus on comfort and convenience, regardless of the cost. Mike, an accountant, has largely deferred to Lina, resulting in a fractured approach to their shared finances. They both use "comfort" as a justification for their spending, avoiding "sacrifice," yet this mindset is driving them toward a financial cliff. Can Ramit help them confront their real numbers, bridge their communication gap, and finally unite as a financial team to build a rich life? In this episode we uncover: • Why Lina's comfort-first approach to spending is unsustainable • Mike’s "happy wife, happy life" approach to finances • The shocking reality of their $750,000 debt despite a high income • How Mike's "accountant" background has not helped their personal finances • The startling hidden costs of their lifestyle choices • Lina's upbringing with generational wealth and its impact on her money mindset • Mike's immigrant experience and its influence on his spending habits • The unspoken divide in their financial expectations and responsibilities • Ramit's direct challenge to their "comfort over sacrifice" mentality • A dramatic suggestion to overhaul their financial situation • Their raw and vulnerable discussion about making tough decisions • The moment Mike and Lina finally confront their financial reality Chapters: (00:00:00) Introduction (00:04:01) "We make plans and we never follow through" (00:09:00) Understanding their "comfort vs. sacrifice" mentality (00:18:40) Mike's "happy wife, happy life" approach (00:34:50) Unpacking their debt (00:40:11) "If we're a plane, we're about to crash" (00:46:00) Lina's privileged upbringing & generational wealth (01:00:21) Mike's immigrant story and mom's sacrifices (01:26:02) Confronting their high fixed costs and potential solutions (01:17:01) Mike and Lina's dramatic confrontation about spending habits (01:21:00) The power of a shared vision for their future (01:32:14) Follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 20% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners LMNT | Get a free 8-count Sample Pack with any LMNT order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit and use promo code RAMIT at checkout Factor | Go to https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF and use code RAMIT50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for 1 year ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you or your partner get stressed spending $150 on dinner, or are covering up spending, I’d like to help. Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at iwt.com/apply

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you are in a relationship where you or your partner cover up spending to avoid big fights,
0:06.9	or you get stressed out spending $150 on dinner, even though you can easily afford it.
0:11.8	If you lay awake at night anxious about money, I want to talk to you.
0:15.8	I'm currently casting couples for the next season of the Money for Couples podcast.
0:20.1	We only do this a few times a year,
0:21.5	and I want to hear from you. You can apply today at IWT.com slash apply. Being on the podcast is
0:28.4	basically a three or four hour coaching session with me. Tons of past couples who have appeared on the
0:34.0	podcast have said it is a pivotal moment for them to get on the same page.
0:38.5	So if you want my take on your unique financial situation, this is your chance.
0:44.0	Apply right now at IWT.com slash apply.
0:47.5	You said we are spending more than we're making, but we're over $100,000 in debt.
0:54.7	I'm not very frugal.
0:56.4	Comfort is not something that I'm going to cut back on.
0:59.1	Once I have my mindset on something that I want, I'm very stubborn.
1:03.6	Lena, you mentioned you're the one on top of these numbers.
1:06.2	How can you be on top of them if your fixed costs are at 98%?
1:09.5	To me, it looks worse than what I feel.
1:11.6	I kind of have like the sense of optimism that we're going to be okay.
1:16.6	You've taken on some of those attitudes, which are like, my family was wealthy, I'm going to be wealthy.
1:21.6	I'm not cutting back on freaking grocery delivery.
1:23.6	You don't have the finances to actually make that feasible.
1:28.3	If we're a plane, we're about to crash.
	...

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