25. My Mother Was A Narcissist
Dear Little Me
Dawn Chitty
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 19 April 2021
⏱️ 68 minutes
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Summary
How to deal with a narcissistic mother.
Having a narcissistic mother can be a living hell. It can change everything. Manipulation, gaslighting and abuse are an everyday occurrence. Mostly as kids we have no idea what is going on. There can be so much confusion as we try to change our behavior to meet the narcissistic mother's expectations. We believe that if we can just do the right thing, please her, be the person she wants us to be? reach the dizzying heights of what she wants from us? that we will finally receive her love. Finally, she will love us, accept us, be there to understand us and hug and hold us when we cry. But it's just not possible. Because the narcissist doesn't understand empathy or emotion. She operates from a sense of entitlement where her view of the world is the only view and nothing else is considered. There is no love or understanding. There is only manipulation and blame and this behaviour is there for a lifetime. I am chatting with Terry on the podcast this week. Terry had no idea her mom was a narcissist as she tried to mould and change herself to be loved. But once Terry understood, she knew she would eventually have to cut ties with this destructive force in her life. Terry is an Executive Coach and author of Winning The Game of Work. Please join me in hearing Terry's story.
Terry recommends The Art of Selfishness https://amzn.to/3sgLWTT and Courage is a Three Letter Word https://amzn.to/3tmbzE3
You can find Terry at www.linkedin.com/in/terrybmcdougall. Her book Winning The Game of Work www.tinyurl.com/gameofworkbook
If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to bigloveproject@iinet.net.au. I would LOVE! to connect with you.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | We knew she was crazy and we said she was crazy. We totally bought into her view of what our |
| 0:06.7 | family was, how she was, she defined everything in the family and we bought into it even though we |
| 0:14.5 | felt bad. You know, there was like a real conflict between how I felt inside and what I was being |
| 0:23.1 | told was going on, right? And I bought into what I was being told because I wanted that love so |
| 0:29.3 | badly. And I kept thinking if I just try harder, if I get her the right gift, if I can just be |
| 0:34.7 | different, maybe she's going to start caring for me. If I can be perfect enough, maybe she'll |
| 0:40.2 | start caring for me the way I need to be cared for. And that really caused me to sort of like |
| 0:45.5 | abandon myself in many ways. I wasn't paying attention to like what did I want. I was paying |
| 0:49.9 | attention to what she wanted. Welcome to how my parents raised me. I'm Dawn Chitty. When we are |
| 1:01.4 | born, we arrive here as pure and perfect souls and the direction our life takes from that moment |
| 1:09.2 | is deeply connected to what our parents bring to our lives. And what our parents bring to our lives |
| 1:16.0 | is deeply connected to what their parents brought to their lives. And that's the cycle of families. |
| 1:23.8 | I have always craved connection with real and raw stories to understand what makes you you, |
| 1:32.2 | what makes you the absolutely unique human that you are. Stories are medicine for the soul they can |
| 1:40.5 | connect us and they can change the world. And so in this podcast, I'm listening to beautiful |
| 1:47.6 | souls sharing their story. What happened to them, how they got through and how they have healed |
| 1:54.6 | and thrived despite everything to arrive right here in this moment. Content warning, if you are |
| 2:03.6 | triggered by the themes of this podcast, please seek a help line in your city. |
| 2:13.2 | Hey beautiful souls, have you ever had to deal with a narcissist in your life? I have and it's not |
| 2:23.8 | pretty. The narcissist can be an extremely insidious presence, highly manipulative, |
| 2:31.9 | cunning, emotionless, they manipulate everything and feel nothing for their targeted person. |
| 2:40.8 | They see themselves as superior and they exaggerate their self-importance and they'll take advantage |
... |
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