These aren't the stories your mother told you.

No, these are the other stories.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Caput Written by Duncan Muggleton

Narrated by Josh Curran

I got the call around five

A case, finally!

The voice on the other end was hushed and muffled, in such a way that I deduced they had cupped their hand over the receiver.

You understand, mister?

Detective, I blurted it out. It's a detective.

Right. As I was saying, detective, this is very sensitive for us. Can we trust your discretion?

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

Because, I mean, well, it's weird.

Oh, I get that. Like, really fucking weird. Oh, I get that.

Like, really fucking weird.

Hey, well, uh, you called the expert in that very field.

What can you tell me over the phone?

I run Happy Town.

You know, the theme park upstate?

Know it well, know it well.

I pause for a second.

Wait, shit, the body's on Thunder Mountain.

Yes, that.

...