244 SelfWork: Why We Lie (Even In Therapy)
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 13 August 2021
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today we're going to focus on why we lie to each other, to ourselves and even in therapy. We'll touch on severe manipulative lying, called pathological lying, and compulsive lying, but most of the episode we'll discuss plain old lying. I found two wonderful articles on the subject and their links are below. Hopefully understanding the "why" might help you realize that there are other things you could do... and I, as always, suggest what you can do about it.
The listener voicemail for today is from someone who read my blogpost on enmeshment and is looking for some answers. Those of who had cruel or neglectful parents might not at all understand at this man’s plight, He was loved too much??? But whether or not the boundaries of parenting were nonexistent because you got manipulated through abuse, or whether they were nonexistent because you weren’t allowed or supported in building a life away from a parent, the damage can exist either way.
So, in this episode sponsored by Athletic Greens, let’s look at lying and what its function may be – even in therapy.
Important Links:
Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens with bonus product with your subscription!
Time Magazine's article on the functions of lying
Article by Dr. Robyn Koslowitz in Psychology Today on lying in therapy
You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to this website and receive her weekly blog posts and podcasts!
If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available! And you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Selfwork, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:14.1 | At Selfwork, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.4 | I'm Dr. Margaret, and Selfwork is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today |
| 0:26.2 | for your own Selfwork. |
| 0:29.8 | Hello, and welcome, or welcome back to Selfwork. |
| 0:33.1 | I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:34.1 | I'm a clinical psychologist out of favor Arkansas, and I started Selfwork almost five years |
| 0:39.7 | ago now in order to extend the walls of my practice to those of you who might already be very |
| 0:44.9 | interested in psychological and emotional issues, maybe you're even in therapy. |
| 0:49.6 | To those of you who've just been diagnosed with something and you're looking for answers, |
| 0:54.0 | and to those of you who even might say, oh, I'd never go to a therapist, but you're |
| 0:58.8 | curious enough or unhappy enough to listen in. |
| 1:02.8 | I so appreciate you being here. |
| 1:05.6 | Telling the truth can be hard, and most of us certainly tell what for some reason are |
| 1:09.5 | called white lies, the most infamous being, oh, no, you look great in that. |
| 1:14.3 | But what gets in the way of being totally honest in therapy? |
| 1:18.4 | Shouldn't you be able to tell all in a setting where the therapist's job is to understand |
| 1:22.3 | and support? |
| 1:23.3 | Hmm, maybe not. |
| 1:25.0 | But I found some really interesting takes on the why of that and how actually lying can |
| 1:29.5 | be used as an effective therapeutic tool. |
... |
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