the showtime they should fucking put those guys to work give them an hourly paycheck with benefits

every seven minutes they come in your car and they start dancing so you wake up fuck them

first of all i hate them too i'm just saying they don't stab you from the smallest room in

new york city comes a show that gives you a reason to live.

Citywide crime is down, but underground.

We're on the wrong track.

Subway crime up 36%.

Subway slashing and stabbing incidents doubled over last year.

Grand larceny's up 32%. That's hard to really visualize what that means.

Grand larceny? Yeah, that's like stealing a phone.

It's just a phone theft, too. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. This week, an R train hijacked by goofballs, claiming to be members of ISIS.

They jumped off the train at 14th Street, Union Square,

and then disappeared into the crowd.

Passengers have been randomly jabbed

with the syringe, threatened,

and cut with knives, machetes.

Box cutters, a seven-year-old woman needed 35 stitches

when her face got cut open.

Blood on the tracks.

While off the East River, a cold idiot wind blows through the halls.

Gracie Mansion, where lives the mayor, who might have sown the seeds of the crime wave downstairs.

...