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ADHD reWired

238 | A Mixed Marriage, Alex and Alison

ADHD reWired

Eric Tivers, LCSW, ADHD-CCSP

Education, Productivity, Self, Calendar, Function, Podcast, Brain, Adhdcoach, Hyperactivity, Accountability, Deficit, Goals, Disorder, Chadd, Health & Fitness, Therapy, Cognitive, Tech, Rewired, Expert, Medication, Coaching, Success, Adult, Clinical, Psychology, Consulting, Health, Mental, Mind, Specialties, Tivers, Gtd, Time, Executive, Gadgets, Mentalhealth, Adhd, Apps, Add, Treatment, Behavior, Executivefunction, Adda, Attention, Focus, Help, Learn, Strategies, Counseling, Cbt, Mental Health, Grow, Improve, Tips, Addcoach

4.7919 Ratings

🗓️ 2 October 2018

⏱️ 82 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I have two guests joining me in the studio for this episode. Alex is a proud husband of eight years and is a father to two children. He teaches special education at the middle school level. His daily practice of mindfulness and meditation has had a profound effect on his life. His ADHD witness story comes into focus in 2008. The most recent stage of his ADHD journey began with the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group. Alison joins Alex (her husband) on this episode. They have known each other since 2008, and she is a mental health nurse. In this conversation, you will hear Alex and Alison share how they have navigated the obstacle course that is a marriage or relationship with one person who has ADHD and one person who does not. Alex and Alison discuss their challenges and explain how they resolve conflict. Connect with Alex: Email: You’ll Learn: [09:45] - Alex shares how the two met. He explains why he saw her as mysterious. [12:30] - Alison talks about the impact diagnosis, and medication had on their conversations. [13:46] - Alison was once brought to tears by Alex having a spotlessly clean living area. [16:06] - We talk about our memories from before we started medication. [22:30] - Alison talks about one of their challenges with parenting. Alex describes his feelings when he’s frustrated with his son, who displays some ADHD characteristics. [26:12] - Alison shares how she allows Alex space in some of these difficult situations. [27:47] - Alex struggles with sharing what is happening in his brain. [30:06] - When Alex’s ADHD is winning, Alison takes his reactions personally. [31:55] - I share that non-ADHD spouses can understand ADHD by listening to these conversations. [33:11] - Alex explains how they engage in constructive problem-solving. [37:38] - Alex considers himself lucky to have someone like Allison, who understands his situation. [39:17] - Alison says that she’s needed to explain Alex’s characteristics with her family. [41:10] - We talk about the dance between accommodating and enabling. [50:54] - Alex talks about why he made the decision to join the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group. Alison chimes in with developments she’s seen. [55:22] - The two talk about changes they’ve seen since Alex joined the group. [59:20] - Alison shares what she has learned about ADHD since meeting Alex. [1:02:30] - We talk about the long-term aspect of marriage, which involves things like apologizing, and the process of resolving conflict. [1:11:24] - Alex shares his experience with mindfulness. Use my Audible.com affiliate link for your favorite titles: ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group Our fall season of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group will begin on September 24th, and the group is now full. If you’d like to secure an early spot and an early registration price for our winter session of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group, RSVP for our registration event on October 4th at 2pm Central. This session starts January 7th. To learn more or RSVP for the group registration, go to . Support the podcast on Patreon Patreon allows listeners like you to support content creators like me. With a monthly contribution, you can get access to different levels of perks. One perk example is our Patreon-only Adult Study Hall. Learn more at ADHD reWired Facebook Group: If you would like to join the ADHD reWired secret Facebook group, go to and fill out an application. Productivity Q&A Get your ADHD questions answered live! These Q&A sessions take place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month at 12:30pm. Go to . Want to be a guest? Hey! What about you? Do you have a story? Are you a Coach? Are you an ADHD Clinician? If you answered yes to any of these questions and you’d like to be a guest, schedule a pre-interview call .

Transcript

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0:00.0

I think that sometimes the non-Adihihist spouse also needs to understand how do I understand this

0:08.0

ADHD that my partner has and I don't think that we should be using ADHD is an excuse it is not an excuse it is an explanation for the challenges we're having yes right like yes and anytime

0:20.9

Alex says sorry I have ADHD I can't do that you have my permission, just punch

0:25.0

them in the arm.

0:26.0

I don't know.

0:27.0

Yeah, no, I've told it.

0:31.0

Yeah.D. Rewired episode 238.

0:40.7

This is the show designed for those of us with really good intentions, but a slightly wandering attention.

0:48.0

My name is Eric Tivers. I'm a licensed clinical social worker, coach, and speaker. The website is ADHD rewired

0:56.5

dot com. We know that starting is the hardest part so let's get started. But first let me tell you about this

1:06.8

October is ADHD Awareness Month and the ADHD community has already started gathering online at the 9th annual ADHD Awareness

1:15.8

Expo. Some of the world's leading experts will be joining us by video to share

1:21.9

their favorite tips and strategies on how to live

1:24.9

successfully with ADHD. The ADHD Awareness Expo will also be featuring products

1:30.4

and services in the online exhibit hall.

1:33.4

It's awesome, it's going on all month long, and it's free to register.

1:38.2

Go to ADHD expo.com slash ADHD rewired.

1:42.3

That's ADHD Expo.

1:43.0

ADHD expo.com slash ADHD rewired. See you there.

1:50.0

Support for this podcast comes from the alumni of ARC 13 section 1.

1:57.0

ARC is ADHD rewired coaching.

2:00.0

Before I joined this group, I was starting to feel hopeless. I joined this group in short because my life was falling apart.

...

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