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Optimal Finance Daily - Financial Independence and Money Advice

2379: A Couple's Guide to Complaining by John Beaty with the Gottman Institute on Conflict Resolution in Relationships

Optimal Finance Daily - Financial Independence and Money Advice

Optimal Living Daily LLC

Business, Education, Investing, Self-improvement

4.51.3K Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2023

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

John Beaty with The Gottman Institute instructs couples on how to properly complain. Episode 2379: A Couple's Guide to Complaining by John Beaty with the Gottman Institute on Conflict Resolution in Relationships The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage The original post is located here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/a-couples-guide-to-complaining/  Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com  Interested in advertising on the show? https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalFinanceDaily Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is Optimal Finance Daily Episode 2379, a couple's guide to complaining by John

0:07.4

B.A.D. with Gotman.com and I'm your host and personal finance enthusiast, Diana Mariam.

0:14.5

Welcome back to another bonus Sunday episode.

0:17.5

This is where we get to hear from one of the other shows in our podcast network and today

0:21.5

is comes from Optimal Relationships Daily.

0:24.8

So with that, here's Greg as we optimize your life.

0:29.3

A couple's guide to complaining by John B.A.D. of Gotman.com.

0:38.3

My wife Tammy felt angry.

0:40.6

All you do after you get home from work and eat dinner is sit on the couch.

0:44.5

Why can't we talk or take a walk together or do both?

0:48.5

Couples will always have complaints about each other.

0:51.2

Unfortunately, instead of expressing their complaints, they resort to criticizing each

0:55.9

other.

0:56.9

Unchecked criticism leads to contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

1:01.4

Dr. John Gotman calls these the four horsemen of the apocalypse and when couples fall prey

1:06.5

to the four horsemen, it can lead to divorce.

1:09.9

Tammy's criticism provoked me to defend myself.

1:12.5

We were almost three years into our marriage and hadn't yet learned how to effectively

1:17.3

air our complaints about each other.

1:19.8

I'm tired, I said.

1:21.8

As a substance abuse counselor, I spend all day listening to people.

1:25.4

Why can't you let me relax?

...

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