237: Pitfalls of Using Others to Manage Your Anxiety

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.4 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2020

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Relationship partners and friends can offer valuable support for managing stress and anxiety in our lives. However, sometimes relying on others to manage our emotions can create negative effects in our lives and relationships. Listen to today's show to learn how to balance this sometimes complicated dynamic. In this episode, we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Understanding if you are automatically pulling in a third person to help manage your relationship anxiety The negative effects of relying too much on others How to sit with your own anxiety before projecting it onto others Writing things down to help process your problems Becoming curious about how you function when you become anxious And much more! Dr. Kathleen Smith is a licensed therapist and mental health writer who lives in Washington, DC. She is the author of the new book, Everything Isn't Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down. She is an associate faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family and hosts the show Family Matters, a production of the University of the District of Columbia. Full show notes and episode links at: https://idopodcast.com/237 Sign up for our 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge here: 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge Join our 5 Day Couples Appreciation Challenge here: idopodcast.com/appreciation Do you want to hear more on this topic? Continue the conversation on our Facebook Group here: Love Tribe Sponsors BetterHelp:Get help on your own time and at your own pace. Get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO. Spark My Relationship Course: For a limited time, get access to our bonus, Mastering Money Talk In Your Marriage! Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	And Take me to the place in the middle of the sun. What's up y'all?
0:27.0	sing this song in a one-bough. What's up y'all?
0:29.0	D.J. Sarah over there.
0:32.0	D.J.
0:33.0	No, it's just my southern charm coming through the mic here.
0:37.0	Sounded like a DJ doing the intro.
0:40.0	Welcome to the show guys.
0:42.0	Thank you for tuning in.
0:43.0	Sarah's sounding a little loosey-goosey.
0:46.0	Feeling a little southern after three interviews.
0:49.0	Yeah, that's what happens.
0:50.0	By the third, we're very engaged, engaged we're excited but our brains need a
0:54.9	little bit of a detox and well yeah we just get silly I think I'm goofy I'm just
0:59.9	making excuses for your silliness yes always I know today we have a great show for
1:06.2	you guys where we talk about how to have less anxious relationships and I know I really identify with a lot of times just putting my issues
1:19.3	out into the world a lot of times that's on Sarah or like issues like maybe have an issue at work and we're
1:26.3	venting to our partner and that can that's okay but it can also be unhealthy so that is what we mean by the
1:34.3	the anxiousness like getting it out there and
1:36.8	Dr Kathleen Smith walks us through a better way to go through this process.
1:44.0	Yeah, like Chase mentioned, he definitely likes to vent and talk about his problems and I love that.
1:50.8	I love being able to be there.
1:53.4	And Kathleen actually gave me some amazing tools of how to listen and respond with a neutral response,
	...

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