Hello and welcome to Card Talk, a national public radio with us clicking

collect the Tappet Brothers and we're broadcasting this week from the Center

for Pest Control here at Card Talk Plaza. Now as we speak, murky research

scientists are working assiduously to develop a spray lotion or call or

anything to protect my brother and me from the dreaded bite of Melissa Peterson.

She won't give up that little twerp. She sent us another letter, get this. For

the photos of you that don't remember Melissa Peterson is the

precocious young lady who's written to us. Now I guess twice now because I see

another letter quite nasty. Right and it's trying radically to turn the entire

canine population of the world against us. She has to show her dog hates us. My brother has to tie a

pork chop around his neck to get his dog to play with him as it is. Well she wrote to us again.

A little twerp. Here it is. I'm writing a response to a letter that you got from that jerk named Jim.

I mean a couple of weeks ago some interesting intelligent perspicacious listener

defended us to some extent trying to explain away Melissa's craziness. Yeah. The

maliciousness of Melissa. Right. So right away she refers to me as a jerk. That jerk named Jim. I do not suffer from driving jealousy.

Mostly because I wouldn't be able to pay for all the speeding tickets. I wouldn't be getting if I could drive.

I actually feel sorry for all those people they could pull over by the police every year.

I still hate your show and I'm thinking of suing my father for making me listen to you.

I might do the same to you so watch out. She's like a little kid just young lass.

All of my friends absolutely agree with me about how awful you are.

And we're thinking about starting an anti-car talk foundation which would be

which would be dedicated to destroying your program.

...