234: What if your joy came with a tragic price?

This Is Actually Happening

Wondery

True Crime, Tiah, Documentary, Society & Culture

4.6 • 9.9K Ratings

🗓️ 10 May 2022

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“To feel like at any moment something tragic could happen put me in a deep, deep cloud as far as who I am, what can I be, and what could I have been.”

Today’s guest requested to remain anonymous. But if you’d like to reach out to him, you can email at [email protected]

Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock

Episode Summary: Growing up Jewish and surviving the twin traumas of domestic abuse and antisemitic bullying, a man finally establishes a new life for himself, when devastating loss threatens to keep him locked in a cycle he can seemingly never escape.

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/

Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com

Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, abuse, bullying, drug use, car accident, death, stroke, cancer, explicit language

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Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus

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Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes” - SkyVoyager

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This is actually happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events.
0:04.2	Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode
0:07.6	and for more information about support services.
0:17.6	To feel like at any moment something tragic could happen,
0:23.7	put me in a deep, deep cloud as far as who I am, what can I be, and what could I have been?
0:32.8	From laundry, I'm Whit Missildine. You are listening to this is actually happening.
0:49.2	Episode 234
1:01.6	What if your joy came with the tragic price?
1:07.8	Hey prime members, you can listen to this is actually happening.
1:11.6	Add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today.
1:27.5	I was raised in a suburban northern New Jersey town about 25 miles from Manhattan.
1:34.8	My father working in Manhattan, my mother was a homemaker, my sister is two and a half years older than me.
1:42.2	My dad had been married previously, and my dad's first marriage he had a son.
1:49.2	My brother from my dad's first marriage was five years older than me.
1:53.9	We basically had the classic suburban life.
1:59.9	We had clothes on our bodies, food to eat, there was an external laughter, and I always felt loved.
2:11.9	That's external. Internal, my memories growing up are not very positive.
2:18.9	There was a lot of yelling, there was a lot of blaming and shaming, there was a lot of physical violence.
2:26.4	I was often called wimpy by my father.
2:30.8	Although it was a very heavily populated Jewish area, northern New Jersey, my elementary school,
2:39.6	I was the only Jewish kid in my class.
2:42.2	As early as second grade, I remember being ridiculed and made fun of for being Jewish.
	...

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