Hey, it's Ray. If I were normal human being, I'd be here to wish you a wonderful holiday

season. But I'm not a normal human being. I'm an NPR host, which means I'm here to ask

you for a pledge instead. Sorry. Anyway, you know how this works. The NPR network counts

on your donations to keep the lights on. So make a contribution to trustworthy journalism

and bad coward vice. It's all yours anytime on the NPR network. Go to donate.npr.org slash

card talk and thanks. Hey, happy holidays.

Hello and welcome to card talk on national public radio with us. Click and click the tab

with brothers broadcasting this week from the clearance sent to here at card talk

plaza. Yeah, we've been doing some summer cleaning here at the top plus a gift shop. We

found a couple of items that for some reason haven't exactly been jumping off the shelves

here. I don't know why. Here's one first is I thought this would be a big sell. I did

too. It's a leather bound coupon book for automatic monthly investments in the tapet

brothers capital depreciation fund. It's called the automatic account dwindling. As you

know, the tapet brothers capital depreciation fund guarantees unequivocally guarantees a

50% return of your month. This is a 50% return. Isn't that great? You said there's a hundred

bucks. We sent you back 50 bucks. I mean, most of the mutual funds you're lucky to get

eight, nine percent, 50% return on your money. And this leather bound automatic account dwindle

just didn't take off. What else we got? Well, we have these authentic murky research laboratory

artifacts. Yeah, for example. Oh, yeah. Here are a couple of beakers that were actually

used by Paul murky in the murky research labs. These are collectors. They look like old

coffee cups that murky forgot to wash. They got mold growing in them. They are not coffee

cups. Look inside. That's authentic scientific residue. That's crud. That's two year old

...