These aren't the stories your mother told you.

No, these are the other stories.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Jingle bells, written by John Craig Campbell and Luke Condor, narrated by Ian McEwen.

Eleven long and lonely months of every single year, to Jeff and all his aging friends, the misery was clear.

They worked in shops, they worked in bars, in dreary factories too.

They slaved away their lives on things they didn't want to do.

But each December brought a new employment for them all.

The grotto opened up its doors at the local shopping mall.

A chance to bask in festive threads, a merry Xmas land.

Bring joy to children one and all at Winter Wonderland.

Now Jeffrey had a dearest pal, inseparable since school.

Old Harold, Harry to his friends, a champion of cool.

They played in trees when they were boys. They ogled stolen pawn. The best man on Jeff's

wedding day, an uncle to his spawn. As sparkling trees adorned the streets and stockings hung on shelves,

Harry and all his happy friends became the Christmas elves.

But Jeff was welcomed more than most to rapturous applause.

He sat upon the grotto throne, as he was Santa Claus.

So we join them on this fateful night, the last shift of the year.

On Christmas Eve they celebrate with just one more beer.

They hugged and cried and danced and sun, fake Santa and his elves,

and drank another whiskey shot before the clock struck twelve.

...