This podcast audio is taken from my live Periscope and also my live Facebook.

If you want to catch me live around three to five times a week, just type my name in Periscope or on Facebook and then just subscribe or follow.

That way, you'll get notified as and when I go live and on top of that, you can ask me questions and I'll reply to you in person.

So let's get on with the show.

Today I'm doing a live Q&A on Facebook and our first one has just come in from Deborah.

So how do you allow your spouse in intimately when you have a tendency to put up walls when we've been married for 20 years.

So how do you let a spouse in, I guess, when you've been having a tendency to put up these

walls? So it's a great question, Deborah. So let's go for it. The whole idea is to consider

what the reason is to put up walls. I mean,

when you think about, just like the, we always speak in metaphors and if we're putting up a wall,

we're trying to ultimately be safe, trying to be protected from what might happen if we let down those walls.

So it's a great intention for you to actually be running that behavior,

because of course you don't want to get hurt,

but is it actually hurting you more now and also in the long run

by having those walls up?

Because obviously that's not very good for relationships.

So what you have to do is begin to consider

in your mind, how can you be safe whilst also letting people in in your life? So where it be in a

relationship, where it be friends and so on like that, I want you to consider how you can actually

be safe. So it could be starting off small. What small

things can you do today? Because sometimes if we go, I'm going to let out everything or I'm going to

let down all my walls, that is a very scary thing for many people. It can be something which is too

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