Hey guys, this is my leak and this is the podcast. Earlier this week on my socials, I posted about

judging yourself for not mastering things you are never taught. On my threads and on my

Instagram, I said, you're judging yourself for not mastering things you were never taught.

These are learnable life skills, not character flaws.

And there's one slide that I have where I talk about one of my pet peeves being the phrase

big age, at this big age, at your big age.

And so I'm going to get into some of the meat behind these learnable life skills, but if you will allow me to rant about why I don't like at this big age, because there's a few things.

Number one, it's rooted in shame.

And if we haven't learned anything, it's that shame and learning don't go hand in hand. It's really

difficult to learn something new when you have shame. And so perhaps there are some things that someone

could have learned, maybe tying your shoes by the time you're an adult. But that's often

not what the phrase is used for.

Something else I don't love about this is that it reinforces the lie that adulthood equals mastery. Just because you haven't learned the skill in question, emotional intelligence,

boundaries, finances, all of that, doesn't mean, you know, there's no time limit on it

just because you are in adulthood? Another reason why I don't love it, it's anti-evolution. How are we

supposed to evolve heal generational patterns or try something new if we're shamed the moment we step out and try. Number four, it discourages

vulnerability. At your big age can silence people who are genuinely trying to grow by suggesting

that their efforts are laughable or embarrassing. Last one is that sometimes it's a projection.

The phrase sometimes is said by someone uncomfortable with their own unfinished business.

Oh, you're still trying at your big age.

Might that be a trigger for them?

So let's go ahead and retire this phrase and honestly i feel like

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