I'm being a brave little soldier.

I'm very, very worried about you, darling.

You go on.

Tell me, tell me what's the latest? Well, Nurse Smith.

I, now there's an image that many of our male listeners will conjure up.

Matron. Over the last few days, I've had quite bad back pain and it culminated yesterday in me not really being able to walk.

It all started about 38 years ago when I was driving.

This is going to be a long story. I won't make it a long story. I was driving my dad's

Combine Harvester and I jumped off it. And it was about, I don't know, it's about six feet drop, I suppose. And I must have landed awkwardly and I completely seized up to the point where I had to lie on the ground and I couldn't move. And there was no one else around. So I just laid

there for about, I don't know, 20 minutes, half an hour until somebody turned up. And ever since then,

every year or two, I've seized up again. It's usually if I get into the car in a weird way or something.

Anyway, a few days ago, it started up again,

and I just thought, well, it'll go, I'll go and see the osteopath, and he'll make it go away,

because that's what normally happens. Anyway, yesterday, it just got worse and worse. And I think

it didn't help that I was obviously sitting down doing my show for three hours.

And when I got up at the end of it, I just thought, I can't walk more than like a foot at a time.

Oh my God.

And I was like leaning over to one side, looking like a 90-year-old walking.

And normally when I leave the studio, it takes me four minutes to walk to Charing Cross yesterday it took 15 minutes and I missed my train so I then I phoned John and I said

you're going to have to pick me up from the station because I can't walk from the from

the station to the car park which is probably probably only normally, again, a four or five minute walk.

And I got off the train and I literally was in tears in pain. It was just awful. And it took me about

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