220-The Old Hero of Gettysburg
Futility Closet
Greg Ross
4.8 • 748 Ratings
🗓️ 8 October 2018
⏱️ 32 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In 1863, on the first day of the Battle of Gettysburg, a 69-year-old shoemaker took down his ancient musket and set out to shoot some rebels. In this week's episode of the Futility Closet podcast we'll follow John Burns' adventures in that historic battle, which made him famous across the nation and won the praise of Abraham Lincoln.
We'll also survey some wallabies and puzzle over some underlined 7s.
Intro:
In a 1963 travel book, Ian Fleming gives James Bond's recipe for scrambled eggs.
Sources for our feature on John Burns:
Timothy H. Smith, John Burns, 2000.
Harry W. Pfanz, Gettysburg: The First Day, 2011.
Tom Huntington, "Out to Shoot Some 'Damned Rebels,'" America's Civil War 21:3 (July 2008), 46-49.
Eric J. Wittenberg and J. David Petruzzi, "Why JEB Stuart Was Too Late," Civil War Times 46:1 (February 2007), 30-37.
Robert L. Bloom, "'We Never Expected a Battle': The Civilians at Gettysburg, 1863," Pennsylvania History: A Journal of Mid-Atlantic Studies 55:4 (October 1988), 161-200.
Robert Fortenbaugh, "Lincoln as Gettysburg Saw Him," Pennsylvania History: A Journal of Mid-Atlantic Studies 14:1 (January 1947), 1-12.
George T. Ness Jr., "Wisconsin at West Point: Her Graduates Through the Civil War Period," Wisconsin Magazine of History 25:2 (December 1941), 210-216.
James W. Wensyel, "Tales of a Gettysburg Guide," American Heritage 45:2 (April 1994), 104.
"Letters," Civil War Times 56:4 (August 2017), 6.
Luther William Minnigh, Gettysburg: What They Did There, 1912.
Samuel Penniman Bates, The Battle of Gettysburg, 1875.
"The Field of Gettysburg," Ocala [Fla.] Evening Star, Dec. 6, 1920.
"The Field of Gettysburg," Caldwell [Idaho] Tribune, Dec. 26, 1908.
"John Burns of Gettysburg," [Washington D.C.] National Tribune, Jan. 19, 1899, 10.
"John Burns of Gettysburg," National Tribune, Nov. 10, 1898, 8.
"Brave John Burns," Gettysburg Compiler, Sept. 28, 1897.
"John Burns of Gettysburg," Helena [Mont.] Independent, Oct. 6, 1890, 6.
"John Burns, of Gettysburg," New York Times, Feb. 11, 1872.
"John Burns of Gettysburg," New York Times, July 27, 1871.
John T. Trowbridge, "The Field of Gettysburg," Atlantic Monthly 16:97 (November 1865), 616-624.
A writer to the Civil War Times asks whether the man seated farthest left at this Gettysburg field hospital might be Burns. "Burns favored that style of top hat, and they have the same jug ears and long noses. They also seem to wear similar scowls, but nowadays so do I, at least when I can't get enough Advil." More here.
Listener mail:
Filey Bird Garden & Animal Park, Facebook, Sept. 25, 2018.
"Escaped Filey Animal Park Wallaby Found Dead on Roadside," BBC News, Sept. 25, 2018.
Thomas Manch and Matt Stewart, "Mystery of Wellington's Dead Wallaby Remains, Despite Thermal Imaging Tech," Stuff, May 22, 2018.
Thomas Mead, "Hunters Take Out Pests in Annual South Canterbury Wallaby Hunt," NewsHub, March 17, 2018.
A. David M. Latham, M. Cecilia Latham, and Bruce Warburton, "What Is Happening With Wallabies in Mainland New Zealand?" Manaaki Whenua Landcare Research (accessed Oct. 3, 2018).
"Waimate's Wallabies," Waimate.org (accessed Oct. 3, 2018).
John Wilson, "South Canterbury Places - Waimate," Te Ara, the Encyclopedia of New Zealand (accessed Oct. 3, 2018).
Ryan Dunlop, "Cost of Wallabies in South Island Could Reach $67m a Year by 2027," Stuff, Dec. 22, 2017.
Rachel E. Gross, "New Zealand's War on 30 Million Possums," Atlantic, March 1, 2013.
Mark Edwards, "Isle of Man Wallaby-Related Police Call-Outs Revealed," BBC News, Sept. 7, 2018.
Francesca Marshall, "Calls for Wallaby Warning Signs to be Implemented on the Isle of Man to Tackle Growing Numbers," Telegraph, Sept. 7, 2018.
"Orphaned Isle of Man Wallaby 'Getting Stronger,'" BBC News, May 8, 2018.
"Wild Wallabies Running Amok on Isle of Man," Times, Sept. 8, 2018.
Camila Domonoske, "Mystery Kangaroo Is at Large in Austria, Confusing Everybody," National Public Radio, Sept. 4, 2018.
"No Kangaroos in Austria? At Least One Is Lost in the Snow," Sydney Morning Herald, Jan. 29, 2015.
"Runaway Kangaroo Seen in Upper Austria," The Local, Aug. 10, 2015.
"Escaped Kangaroo on the Run in Austria," The Local, July 7, 2016.
This week's lateral thinking puzzle was contributed by listener John Spray, who sent this corroborating link (warning -- this spoils the puzzle).
You can listen using the player above, download this episode directly, or subscribe on Google Podcasts, on Apple Podcasts, or via the RSS feed at https://futilitycloset.libsyn.com/rss.
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You can also make a one-time donation on the Support Us page of the Futility Closet website.
Many thanks to Doug Ross for the music in this episode.
If you have any questions or comments you can reach us at podcast@futilitycloset.com. Thanks for listening!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Futility Closet Podcast, forgotten stories from the pages of history. |
| 0:14.3 | Visit us online to sample more than 10,000 quirky curiosities from a ratless province to James Bond's eggs. This is episode 220. I'm Greg Ross. |
| 0:24.1 | And I'm Sharon Ross. In 1863, on the first day of the Battle of Gettysburg, a 69-year-old |
| 0:30.9 | shoemaker took down his ancient musket and set out to shoot some rebels. In today's show, we'll follow |
| 0:36.8 | John Burns' adventures in that historic battle, |
| 0:39.8 | which made him famous across the nation and won the praise of Abraham Lincoln. |
| 0:44.5 | We'll also survey some wallabies and puzzle over some underlined sevens. |
| 0:53.8 | And a quick programming note. We'll be off next week, so look for the next episode on October 22. |
| 1:01.4 | John Burns was born in New Jersey on September 5th, 1793. His parents had been married when the country was just two years old. |
| 1:09.3 | It's often said that he fought in the war of |
| 1:10.9 | 1812, and we know that he enlisted at age 19, but the only source for the claim that he saw |
| 1:15.8 | combat in that war are the stories that he himself told. He seems to have been at the Battle of Marcus |
| 1:21.1 | Hook in 1814, bracing for an assault that never came, but altogether he served in the army for just |
| 1:26.3 | one term of three months and another of 14 days. So it seems reasonable to say that Burns was a veteran of the war of 1812, |
| 1:33.0 | but for a short time and that his unit probably saw no action. Here is elsewhere, so many stories |
| 1:37.7 | are told about him that it's sometimes hard to tell fact from legend. It sometimes even said |
| 1:42.0 | that he was a veteran of three American wars, which would mean that he |
| 1:44.5 | also fought in either the Seminole wars or the Mexican-American War, but there's not much evidence to |
| 1:48.9 | support that either. Even after his military service, Burns' early life is very murky. He |
| 1:53.8 | himself said he led a wandering and dissipated life, but at some point he embraced temperance, |
| 1:59.0 | got married, and adopted a daughter. It looks like his |
| 2:01.9 | main trade was as a boot and shoemaker, and the family moved around quite a bit. He also possibly |
... |
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