218. The Best Sex Ed You Never Had

You Are Not Broken

Kelly Casperson, MD

Medicine, Health & Fitness

5 • 743 Ratings

🗓️ 2 July 2023

⏱️ 86 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The Best Sex Ed You Never Had We all got a sex education – it just wasn’t accurate. My Sex Ed course is coming out this Month! Get on the email list to join when it opens. This was a talk I gave to medical doctors for a residency program continuing education lecture. Seasons of sexuality Stress and sexuality The importance of self-care in sexuality Communication and sexuality Sex as a skill that can be improved Sexuality and gender equality Stop Should-ing all over your sex life If you got decent sex ed you were lucky Sex is Complex – therefore so so interesting Biopsychosocial Your sexuality is not a fixed asset Orgasms are good for us Your biggest sex organ is your brain Night shifts wreak your sexual function – any gender Sex is dopamine, and we have cheaper dopamine in our current society which competes with sex. Defining heteronormativity What Society tell us about sex (and is wrong about) Pro tip: desire mismatch is normal Pro tip: Why do you want to have sex? FEELINGS – list three - If partnered: do you know theirs? Orgasmic Inequality is real. The Heteronormative Theory of Low Desire in Women Partnered with Men How Freud messed us up in regards to sex. Do you actually “fall out of love” or does your brain habituate and you are craving newness and dopamine? Cognitive distractions are bad for good sex. Mindfulness and meditation can help. How to improve sex as a skill Relationship between sex and sexuality (sensuality) and ways to improve sex drive How to have a balanced life, not put sexual health on the back burner Stress effects on sexuality Resources - You are not broken book - Becoming Cliterate - Your body is not an apology - Sex and Sexuality podcast - How to find a sex therapist o AAASECT.org Take one action toward achieving a fulfilled life Why does sex end when the male ejaculates? The heteronormative definition of sex is not good for anybody. What we make lubrication mean. How does your pelvic know that it is sexy time? Remember brain and pelvic arousal. Our lack of ability to communicate to our partner’s about why we want sex hurts us. So many things about sex are aren’t actually about sex. How to help post partum people and their partner’s understand what is happening after birthing a baby. The biologic and psychosocial component behind this Even though we are not taught about sex, we are told things about sex all the time. Women: men didn’t get any more sex ed than we did….we have to communicate our needs to them. How to communicate about sex. What does sensuality mean? Don’t forget to desire things you already have. What are your top three feelings you want to have during sex. If you can’t turn off your frontal lobe you may have trouble with orgasms. Challenge your limiting beliefs about sex. Figure out your obstacles to a good sex life – now you have the pathway. The obstacles are the way. Tips from people who have magnificent sex. Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to You Are Not Broken, the only podcast that combines science, medicine, and psychology to re-educate your brain and help you live your best love life. And I'm your host, board-certified female urologist, Dr. Kelly Casperson.
0:16.2	Hey, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. Dr. Best came up with this idea. This is just
0:22.3	amazing. This webinar is for you guys. Like, full disclosure, I already know all this stuff.
0:30.5	And I didn't know this stuff in training. I actually didn't know this stuff until about
0:35.2	seven years after training, which if nobody's told you yet,
0:38.8	beware of the seven-year itch, because whether it's your marriage or your career, like the seven
0:43.3	years will happen, and you'll have a, you'll need to have an awakening. And that happened to me,
0:47.8	and I'll tell you that in my story. But point being, this is really for you guys, you peoples,
0:53.5	and whether or not this is you get any info from this, it truly will help us take care of patients better too.
1:00.0	So I think in learning about what's good for you, your relationships, you're also going to be like, oh, these are some things I can take back to patients.
1:07.1	So whether you're sexually active or not, whether you care about being sexually active or not,
1:11.9	it'll still help a lot in taking care of our patients. Our patients don't think we do a good job
1:17.8	with sexuality in case anybody was wondering. They think we do a horrible job in discussing sexuality.
1:23.4	And I think that's, you know, because we're just human like everybody else and sex makes us
1:27.2	uncomfortable.
1:28.7	But so point being, even if you have no interest in sex, you've never ever going to use any
1:32.4	of this info, it will help you in taking care of patients because patients really need doctors
1:36.0	who can handle this discussion. So without further ado, I'll show you my PowerPoints.
1:41.8	But chat box, if you can change your name and be anonymous,
1:48.7	if that makes everybody feel more comfortable, I will answer your questions as they come in,
1:53.1	because as interactive as this can be without me seeing your faces, the Q&A will make it a little more interactive. I'm drinking a huge bottle of Topo Chico from Costco, so we'll probably stop
1:57.8	around 715, 720-ish to do a break, a stretch, a P, whatever you need.
	...

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