217. Rethinks: How to Build Deep Connections

Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Think Fast Talk Smart

Communicating, Influence, Career Skills, Career, Business, Education, Leadership, Careers, Communication, Career Growth, Public Speaking, Language Learning, Improv

4.7 • 711 Ratings

🗓️ 22 July 2025

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How to be a skilled conversationalist in work, love, and life.

Whether you’re trying to build a romantic or professional connection, Rachel Greenwald’s advice is exactly the same. “Focus on how you make someone feel more than you focus on the words that you're saying,” she says.

As a professional coach, Greenwald helps people develop better communication skills, from executives in the business world to singles in the dating world. Building deep connections may at times be challenging, but as Greenwald says, it’s ultimately not complicated. “You're demonstrating that you're interested in someone and that you like them,” she says.

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Greenwald and host Matt Abrahams discuss relationship-building tactics like small talk, active listening, communication blindspots, and more.

Episode Reference Links:

Rachel Greenwald

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Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

(00:00) - Introduction
(02:10) - Don’t Be a Data Collector
(06:36) - How to Start and End Small Talk
(11:23) - Romance vs. Work Communication
(14:44) - The Role of Humor and Light Banter
(17:30) - Conversation Pitfalls
(21:49) - The Final Three Question
(27:35) - Conclusion

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, Matt here. Do you want to learn how to present better in groups?
0:05.0	Then you should check out our July newsletter. Go to our LinkedIn page or you can sign up for our newsletter at FasterSmarter.I.O. Resources.
0:15.0	Check it out. You'll be glad you did.
0:27.4	Think about your closest friends, not the virtual online ones, but the people you see in your everyday real life. How did you meet? I bet at least one or more of your friends you
0:32.6	first met through small talk. Through small talk, big things happen. Yet many of us dread these conversations.
0:40.7	Today we're going to open up the vault and explore interpersonal communication and conversations
0:45.1	that allow us to connect, learn, and grow with my guest Rachel Greenwald.
0:51.2	Rachel teaches us valuable, practical skills, like how to focus on being interested,
0:57.1	not interesting, along with how to exit small talk gracefully. I invite you to enjoy this Think Fast,
1:04.8	Talk Smart, Rethinks episode. Forming relationships can be very challenging.
1:12.7	It work in our personal lives, in our romantic lives.
1:17.2	Today, let's learn some skills to help us.
1:20.9	I'm Matt Abrahams, and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of
1:26.5	Business.
1:26.9	Welcome to Think Fast, Talk Smart,
1:30.8	the podcast. I am super excited today to speak with Rachel Greenwald. Rachel is an executive
1:38.7	fellow at Harvard Business School and interestingly, a professional matchmaker and dating coach.
1:44.6	She's an expert on communication and relationship building in work, love, and life.
1:50.3	At Stanford University, she's co-taught a seminar with past guest Tina Selegg at the D-School
1:55.7	called Designing for Love.
1:58.2	She also guest lectures with two of our other previous guests, Alison Woodbrooks
2:02.9	and Naomi Bagdonus. Welcome, Rachel. Thanks for being here. Hi, Matt. I am so excited for our
	...

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