Welcome to episode 216 with my guest John H. I'm Paul Gilmarten. This is the metal illness

happy hour. Honesty about all the battles in our heads for medically diagnosed conditions,

past traumas and sexual dysfunction to everyday compulsive negative thinking. The show's

not meant to be a substitute for professional metal counseling. It's not a doctor's office.

I'm not a therapist. It's more like a waiting room that doesn't suck. The website for this

show is mentalpod.com. Go there, check it out. Fill out a survey, read a blog, join the forum,

support the show financially, or as I like to say, put your thumb up your ass and stare out the

window. Just to give you an update, last episode, I was going through withdrawal off of

Abilify and it was a nightmare. The nightmare is kind of continuing. Not as bad as it was. The

anxiety has decreased a fair amount, but just that feeling of my brain being a big bowl of

scrambled gray eggs is kind of their conversation. With the exception of I had about a six hour

window where I've conversing was easy and my wife and I went out to dinner and it was really

nice and I thought I was over the hump. Then I woke up the next day and it's kind of back, but I

did go and see my psychiatrist and we're going to try going back on Mertazapine and see if that works.

That helps me get to sleep. I'm having trouble talking about this right now because I feel like

it's boring. I feel like there's kind of no point to it. Just to paint a picture for you,

I'm in my underwear. I'm wearing dark dress socks and my belly is distended because I'm depressed

and constipated. If you need to go grab a vibrator now would be the time.

I guess the reason I want to talk about what it is that I'm going through AM a narcissist, but

be I know there are people out there that and thank you for the support that you guys gave me even

though I wasn't looking for it when I shared that last week and said I'm not looking for sympathy.

I just kind of want to tell my truth about where I'm at with my depression right now.

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