214: Act a Fool

Hello Dysfunction

Comedy, Improv

5 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2023

⏱️ 82 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Pata Fria is the birthday girl.
And also Stevi.
Mother’s Day was lovely, Crystal’s parents are inappropriate and our background noise is always a surprise. How honest are you? We hate Walgreens and love a good crime doc.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, babes. Hi, guys. Welcome to Hello Disfunction. Episode 214. Holy crap. I'm Crystal. I'm
0:25.7	part of free. I'm the birthday girl. Oh my gosh. Address me as such until next week. Call
0:32.8	you fucking BQ. Birthday Queen. Yes. Oh my gosh. You guys, it's my birthday and I am a child
0:41.6	when it comes to my birthday. You and Stevie. I want to be acknowledged at midnight. Yeah. Don't wait
0:48.0	and try to hit me on social media the next day or nothing. Find a way. Hit me at midnight.
0:53.6	Set no alarm so you wake up and can fucking tell her. Post me. Pick out flattering photos. Please
1:01.2	post me as much as possible. Encourage everyone to do the thing. I mean I don't even really care
1:09.6	about gifts. I just want all the acknowledgement. All the celebrating. I'm like you don't even
1:15.6	have enough to post me. You can just cash out me. That's worse. I would love that too. Um, Stevie,
1:22.5	I guess we're sharing a birthday weekend. So for the rest of our lives forever. So um she
1:29.7	was real close to coming on your birthday. Right. Could you imagine? Oh my god. She was born at 7
1:36.0	13 p.m. Yeah. She was hours away from greatness. Yeah. That would have been my fucking life.
1:42.8	Um, no, she has quite the the weekend plans. Oh my god. So I'm just like hopping on to her
1:49.8	plans basically and doing double celebrations. Yeah, you're going to have a busy weekend. You
1:54.8	better find some Xanax or something. Some kind of pills. Um, but Sunday is my actual day. So I
2:03.2	think we're just going to have drinks or something. Keep it kind of low key. Somewhere. Nothing too
2:09.5	crazy. Um, but I'm very excited. Oh, I'm glad you're excited. Yeah. The weather's been so good
2:17.3	all week. I've been getting some vitamin D. Yeah. I've had a few cigarettes. Yeah. It's a good
2:24.6	life. Yeah. It's been a good week. Doing good. Mm hmm. Um, how's your week been? It's, you know
2:32.0	what? My week has been all right. I honestly, um, I can't complain too much. Do you want to do a
2:38.6	Mother's Day recap? Sure. We, I don't think we've recorded since then. No. So we had Mother's
2:45.5	Day together. We did. And you know, she made the suggestion like a week before or something. Like
	...

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