213. “We have a $1M trust - but a $30k budget” (Part 1)

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 17 June 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Kate (45) and Keith (53) split their time between Maine and Hawaii, living what looks like a dream life. They’ve inherited wealth, run two small businesses, and have nearly $2 million in net worth. But with only $30,000 in annual income, they live in fear of spending—and cover their shortfall by dipping into savings. Kate, recovering from long COVID, handles the finances but feels unworthy of her money. Keith, who once filed for bankruptcy, avoids money conversations entirely and worries he’ll be seen as a freeloader. Their roles are clear—one over-responsible, one disengaged—and their financial anxiety keeps them stuck. They say they want to travel, be generous, and enjoy their Rich Life. But, how do you build a Rich Life when you’ve been taught to feel ashamed of the money you have? This episode is brought to you by: Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Ramit Sethi is not a member of Facet, and has an incentive to endorse Facet as he has an ongoing fee based contract for cash compensation based on this endorsement. All opinions are his own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome. Notion | Try Notion for free at https://notion.com/ramit and experience the powerful, easy-to-use Notion AI today. ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Upwork | Visit https://upwork.com to post your job for free and connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist. DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. Links mentioned in this episode • Get detailed breakdowns of my readers' spending every Saturday in my newsletter at iwt.com/podcastnewsletter • Order my new book: Money for Couples Connect with Ramit • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Do you want to see examples of more people's real spending?
0:04.3	I do detailed breakdowns of anonymous readers spending every Saturday in my newsletter,
0:10.8	not just for couples, but for single people too.
0:13.7	I've recently answered questions like, can we remodel our house and retire early?
0:19.5	I've cut everything.
0:20.6	What else can I do? Or should we save for
0:23.3	private school or pay off credit card debt? If you want to get the next one, make sure you're
0:28.4	signed up for free at IWT.com slash podcast newsletter. I have something to show for it in numbers,
0:36.2	but what do I have to show for it in real
0:38.5	life? I'm constantly trying to make sure that nobody thinks I'm here for the money. It would still
0:43.3	feel like I was asking parents' permission because they're the ones that set it up for me. I don't
0:48.2	feel entitled to the money that we're spending. I wasn't expecting to get emotional about it,
0:53.8	but it feels as though I haven't felt worthy of having
0:57.2	that.
0:57.8	Why is that?
0:58.4	Because your parents helped you?
0:59.5	Being raised with a kind of depression-era mentality left me feeling like if I don't save,
1:06.7	I won't have, and that was scary.
1:09.1	I instantly knee-jerk to defensiveness and feeling like she's questioning why I want to spend
1:14.6	$50. Holy shit. Can you just imagine? 30 years. Basically it should be a f*** ton of money.
1:22.2	Today I'm speaking with Kate and Keith. Kate is 45. Keith is 53. They have a very fascinating story. They live part-time
1:31.1	in Hawaii, part-time in Maine. Right now, I'm looking at their conscious spending plan,
	...

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