211. The Danger in Setting Boundaries
Brave Writer
Julie Bogart and Melissa Wiley
4.8 • 904 Ratings
🗓️ 15 November 2023
⏱️ 38 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
With the holiday season approaching, I’ve been hearing all kinds of advice about boundary setting. As a grandmother myself, I’ve experienced firsthand how relationships and boundaries evolve with adult children over time. I think what’s missing from most modern conversations about boundaries is how important it is to start from a place of empathy, exploration, and open communication. Boundaries should be like fences, not walls— Walls are immovable and permanent, and you can't see through them. Fences can be moved, they can be adjusted, and they have gates that let people in and out.
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Produced by NOVA Media
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Have you tried CTC math yet with your child? Here's a testimonial from another happy homeschool mom. |
| 0:07.2 | Amber said, I'm absolutely thrilled with CTC math. It's a rare find that I've used with my children for more than five years now. |
| 0:17.2 | I have six children using C.C. Math and each child has found it easy to navigate and very applicable. |
| 0:24.8 | I love seeing them enjoy this math program and grow in their mathematical journey. |
| 0:29.6 | Thank you so much for all that you are doing in providing quality math lessons for my children. If you're |
| 0:36.9 | looking for a great online math program visit c. t.c.com that's the letter C C.com. That's the letter C, the letter T, the letter C, the letter C, math, hello friends. Today it's just me. Melissa is off living her best life and I want to have a conversation, just the two of us. |
| 1:03.2 | Tis the season, it seems, to decide how annoyed you are with your family of origin. |
| 1:10.3 | It feels like everywhere I turn, so-called experts are urging us to set boundaries so that we'll have more peace around the holidays or in our families. |
| 1:21.0 | And interestingly, the overarching theme I see is that the person |
| 1:26.8 | setting the boundary is presumed to be the healthy person in the relationship, |
| 1:32.1 | while the one for whom the boundary is being set is the obvious loser or |
| 1:37.7 | overbearing family member and it is understood that this family member has lost the right to have desires or a different outlook on the same circumstances. |
| 1:50.0 | It's almost like the boundary is the last resort. |
| 1:55.0 | Even though sometimes these boundaries on the receiving end |
| 1:59.0 | feel like they come completely out of the blue. |
| 2:02.0 | As a member of the generation on the receiving end of all these |
| 2:06.0 | healthy boundaries around the holidays, I thought it might be fun to take a look, not |
| 2:11.8 | at how to protect yourself from your in-laws or parents or siblings, but rather |
| 2:17.1 | how to have a better relationship with them, in spite of their quirks and flaws, in spite of your unwell ways because all of us are just a |
| 2:26.1 | bundle of flubs quirks and myopias right so just because you suddenly have a |
| 2:31.7 | strong craving for a change in the dynamic or habits of your |
| 2:36.4 | family life doesn't mean that those habits were somehow pathologically conceived to begin with. |
... |
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