210-Should You Tell Her About Your Past Sex Life?
Delight Your Marriage
Belah Rose
4.7 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 3 May 2019
⏱️ 42 minutes
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Summary
Do you want unity in your marriage? Do you want her to feel safe to be utterly vulnerable and literally naked before you? Then it is NOT helpful for her to know your past sex life.
You probably have forgotten plenty of your past, but once you've told her it will stay with her for years--even decades.
Whatever sexual sin you've had before (or even the porn you've done while) is sin. It's your job as a man to discipline your mind, and your actions to be faithful to her. But if you're making her your "accountability partner" it's like saying: "honey, I'm trying not to look at other women, imagine them naked and pretend having sex with them". That will hurt her. Get your act together sir, get to a church, get vulnerable with someone--don't do this in isolation but don't load your dirty laundry on her. Because this will make it HARDER for her to make love (and of course that's what would actually HELP you avoid the temptations anyway).
So, whether you think you're just "being honest" you do not need to be unwise with your words. Words start forest fires. I speak to women daily about how unloved and ugly they feel because their husband struggles with porn. Women have constant insecurities all around sex. Your job as a man? Gratitude for EVERYTHING she is and does around sex. Tell her and show her how extremely grateful and gratifying her sexuality is to you.
And recognize you don't and shouldn't be a victim to your sexual cravings. And I am working with men to change these dynamics in their marriages and have already had incredible results:
-Women are now initiating "I can't remember the last time".
-"We made love 2 times this week and it was 'making love' not just duty sex".
-A man separated from his wife shared that they've now had several sexual encounters.
SO! If you want to know next steps with me, if you're a man, I'm opening my Clarity Calls now to you. You can book one here: www.dym.as.me This is a $500 value and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be doing these, so I encourage you to book very soon.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Delight Your Marriage podcast, the show where you hear from amazing and inspiring |
| 0:08.1 | wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. |
| 0:13.9 | Here's your host, Bella Rose. |
| 0:19.6 | Hey there, welcome back. This is Bella Rose. I hope everything's going well today for you. I so appreciate you joining me. I don't know what you're up to, but I can just imagine you are driving your car, commuting to work. Maybe you're picking up the kids or, I don't know, |
| 0:41.2 | doing laundry. There's so many things, but thank you for choosing to make me part of your day. |
| 0:47.7 | I want to talk about our sexual past. All of us have sexual past, and I want to talk about what should be shared with your spouse |
| 0:59.8 | and what should not and why. Awesome. So my name's Bella Rose, I, but God's grace, have been given |
| 1:07.6 | a great opportunity to share with the world, really sexual education and insights |
| 1:14.7 | from what I believe is the way God wants us to look at sexuality in our marriages. |
| 1:21.7 | And what I have an offer for you right now is an actual free clarity call with me, which at this point, |
| 1:31.9 | I am doing for free, though it is a $500 value. |
| 1:36.4 | So I would really encourage you to go to schedule with me, |
| 1:42.9 | www.d-d-d-y-m-a-s.m-a-s.m-a-s.m-s.m-d-y-m.as.m.m. as soon as you can. Like I said, I'm really not sure |
| 1:53.5 | how long I'm going to be able to offer this. My schedule is tightening up over and over and |
| 1:59.5 | over again. So I encourage you to go there as soon as you can. |
| 2:05.1 | So let me go ahead and get started on this wonderful topic. All right. So first off, I want to talk to you about the power of words. The Bible says a lot about words. If you're familiar with James at all, |
| 2:37.3 | I encourage you to go back and read it. It is so in correcting, I think is probably the best |
| 2:46.6 | word about words. It says that words can actually start a wildfire. Let me, let me just read a few |
| 3:00.1 | passages. It's James 3 especially. It says, and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. |
| 3:21.7 | For every kind of beast and bird or reptile and sea creature can be |
| 3:28.2 | tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, |
| 3:35.7 | full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the |
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