210: Be Careful Where You Squat

The Shallow End

John Elliott and Lindsay Schnebly

Society & Culture, Comedy, History

4.9 • 612 Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2026

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Two grown men attempt to answer life’s biggest questions:How far should you go to retrieve your car keys from a porta-potty?How many beers does it take before 911 becomes Coors Light customer service?And exactly where should you not squat in the English countryside? In this hilariously disastrous episode of The Shallow End, JG and Lindsay dive headfirst into a collection of true stories involving terrible decisions, public humiliation, emergency responders, stinging nettles, and one unforgettable porta-potty rescue that became instant American folklore. From a Pennsylvania man trapped inside a portable toilet while attempting to recover his keys… to an Idaho bar patron who called 911 twelve times over a $30 beer tab… to a listener story involving painful botanical consequences in the Lake District of England — this episode celebrates the universal human ability to look directly at a bad idea and say, “Yeah… I can still make this work.” Expect ridiculous true news stories, dark observational humor, bizarre real-life mishaps, drunken logic, and the kind of cautionary tales that make you feel dramatically better about your own life choices. If you enjoy absurd comedy podcasts, embarrassing true stories, weird news, awkward survival tales, and conversations that sound like two lifelong friends trying to outdo each other with increasingly terrible decisions, this episode belongs in your ears immediately. Topics include: porta-potty rescue stories, drunk 911 calls, bizarre news, embarrassing accidents, stinging nettles, terrible decision-making, true comedy stories, weird America, bar disasters, and listener confessions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Blowing ad budget on metrics that look great till the CFO sees them.
0:04.0	That's bullspend and marketers are calling it out in
0:07.0	Dashboard Confessions.
0:09.0	I remember telling my boss it'll be good for the brand when Leeds were slow.
0:13.0	Yeah, it wasn't.
0:16.0	Cut the ball spend. LinkedIn lets you target by company, job title, and more. Advertise on LinkedIn.
0:22.7	Spend £200 on your first campaign and get a £200 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com slash lead.
0:27.1	Terms and conditions apply.
0:29.9	If you're interested in Microsoft, you will love Windows Weekly every Wednesday on the Twitter Network.
0:34.8	Hi, this is Leo Lipport, inviting you to join me, Paul Therott and Richard Campbell for this week's episode. Paul will debunk that recall security
0:43.2	flaw, nothing to worry about here. Lots of news about AI and Xboxes, and Paul's got a review
0:49.8	of a new Snapdragon X2 Elite laptop.
0:55.4	That's this week and Windows Weekly.
0:57.7	You'll find it at twit.tv slash www.
0:59.9	Or wherever you get your podcasts.
1:03.3	It began long ago.
1:05.8	Two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and little league practice.
1:09.6	Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united
1:13.4	in their love for stories where things would go horribly wrong. Pour yourself a strong
1:20.2	beverage and buckle up. You're in the shallow end with Schnebly and Toff. Episode number 210
1:26.5	of the shallow end with Schneebley and Toff. Episode number 210 of the shallow end with Schneebly and Tooth will not feature a story
1:31.3	that I sent to Jethro this morning.
	...

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