21. What Is Good Child Syndrome? (Part One)

Dear Little Me

Dawn Chitty

Childhood Trauma, Emotional Abuse, Narcissistic Mother, Healing, Ptsd, Trauma, Personal Journals, Health & Fitness, Depression, Anxiety, Mental Health, Society & Culture, Women Podcast, Relationships, Self Esteem, Self Help, Self Improvement

4.8 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 22 March 2021

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What happens to the perfect child?

Emma was always described by her mom as a good kid. Never in trouble or acting out. She was so good! But what does good really mean? That you are obeying all the rules? suppressing all the emotions? playing the perfect role? Appearing to the world like the perfect child? And does burying who you really are, never having permission to express an emotion, does this create trauma? Can that trauma affect your whole life and you never even see it? Is it there driving everything but it's so buried you can’t even acknowledge it? Emma’s parents were good humans. Emma adored her Dad and was so well cared for by her mom who ensured her every daily need was met. But as a sensitive kid, Emma felt everything deeply. When life was happening all around her, Emma learnt that sharing how she felt wasn’t acceptable to her mom who was unable to deal with the triggers of those emotions. And so Emma learnt to be silent. To bury. And a dark incident when Emma was four years old left her feeling very unsafe but she never shared it with another soul. This is the story of how Emma has been on a journey of understanding. Her journey includes a battle with cancer and an adult diagnosis of ADHD, revelations about the cycle of behaviours in families and a deep desire to give her own two kids a different way to be in the world. Please join me in hearing Emma’s story.

Emma recommends Untamed by Glennon Doyle https://amzn.to/3tkXjLA

You can find Emma at www.instagram/emmawarrenskies

If you have a story to share for this podcast please connect with me at www.instagram.com/mybigloveproject or send an email to bigloveproject@iinet.net.au. I would LOVE! to connect with you.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	it was because of her quite militant parenting and that came from survival mode for my mom.
0:09.8	It was how she coped with having young kids because we must have been such a massive trigger for her
0:19.7	and I know it now since I've had my own kids and how much they trigger me and my mom's way of
0:26.6	parenting just will still just come out of my mouth from from nowhere and since I've had my own
0:34.8	kids and I feel these huge, distressing, overwhelming feelings when my kids, you know,
0:44.5	break the rules on makeup mess or scream or break something. My instinctual, like a splash of
0:52.6	lightning reaction is otter fight or slate and I go into fight exactly like my mom did.
1:06.1	Welcome to how my parents raised me, I'm Dawn Chitty. When we are born, we arrive here as pure
1:12.7	and perfect souls and the direction our life takes from that moment is deeply connected to what
1:19.8	our parents bring to our lives and what our parents bring to our lives is deeply connected to what
1:26.8	their parents brought to their lives and that's the cycle of families. I have always craved connection
1:34.8	with real and raw stories to understand what makes you you, what makes you the absolutely unique
1:43.6	human that you are. Stories are medicine for the soul they can connect us and they can change the
1:52.2	world and so in this podcast I'm listening to beautiful souls sharing their story. What happened to
1:59.7	them, how they got through and how they have healed and thrived despite everything to arrive right
2:07.3	here in this moment. Content warning, if you are triggered by the themes of this podcast, please seek
2:16.0	a help line in your city. Hey beautiful souls, I'm so excited to be releasing this week's podcast
2:27.4	episode. I'm chatting with one of my favourite humans in the world, Emma and we actually
2:33.2	chatted for so long and in so much detail and depth that I'm going to be creating two awesome
2:40.1	episodes out of this conversation. So this week we've got the first half of the conversation
2:45.9	and there's just so much goodness here. Emma is an artist, a creator, a light in this world, a
2:53.2	unique and beautiful soul who has been on a journey and can give insight into that journey.
	...

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