Good afternoon passengers and thank you for traveling with Greyhound Bus this evening.

A new company policy requires me your bus driver tonight to read to you the following

statement and some minor precautions for making your trips safe and

relaxing. First there is no smoking on the bus however we will stop routinely

for cigarette and stretching breaks where you can smoke and grab a cup of our

complimentary Greyhound coffee cream and sugar packets will cost extra.

Second if you are to use a laboratory for a number two please flush and pump a few

sprays of our patented Greyhound scented ocean bus breeze

before heading back to your seat. Toilet paper will cost extra of course.

And finally, please respect to privacy of your fellow travelers.

If your your mouth and the eyes and mouth of your fellow travelers.

Running is also not allowed on the bus, especially after you've completely detached the head,

dangling it by your side, by his hair, and moving towards the front of the bus to show off your new prize

to the other passengers who are currently in utter shock and horror.

The in-ride movie tonight is The Masko's Oro, however please do not attempt to mimic the sword-wielding

vigilante by dismembering the headless corpse to several pieces, spreading them around the bus in accordance with God's will, before finally consuming, one or perhaps both eyeballs, capping it off with a little heart juice.

Hot sauce will cost extra.

Once again, thank you for choosing Greyhound for your trip this evening.

Let me ask you guys a question.

Who's been on a Greyhound bus? Let me ask you guys a question.

Who's been on a Greyhound bus?

Willingly.

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